I was gonna go into detail in this blog...but then I started to and realized that I'm really bad at organizing my thoughts and putting them in writing. So I'm just gonna say random stuff without a whole lot of details. Maybe there will be details, I don't know. Most of this is stuff me and Jay talked about/things I realized on the car ride home from Warped Tour.
I've done a lot of stupid things lately and have unfortunately hurt some people in the process. I need to think before I speak. I just hope everything's not too messed up for me to be able to prove to everyone that I really am trying to do better.
I'm actually a really selfish person.
I over think things all the time. I need to learn to chill.
I'm too obsessed with Relient K. I keep telling myself that the main reason I love them is because of the amazing lyrics Matt Thiessen writes that help me in every situation...and it's true that they do...but my brother is right..if that's the main reason, then why couldn't I stop thinking about them on Monday? How come all I wanted all day was a picture with at least one of the band members? Loving their music is okay and there's nothing wrong with wanting to meet the people who make that music, but being obsessed isn't good. Maybe my parents are right. Maybe I am beginning to idolize them.
Human beings aren't good role models. No matter how perfect you think they are, they're really not...and they will disappoint you. I learned that the hard way.
I'm really lazy. I haven't done any chores in a long time. I also haven't been diligent in my music studies, and it definitely shows.
I've just been really immature about everything lately. I used to think I was more mature than a lot of people my age (I guess that's pride), but lately I've been acting like a 2-year-old.
I think that all of this stuff comes down to one problem. I haven't been focused on God like I should be. I haven't been reading my Bible. I haven't been praying. I haven't been paying attention in church. I've known for a long time that I wasn't focusing on the right things, but instead of repenting and running away from my sin, I've been running away from God. That ends now.
Getting stuff I want and doing what I want isn't going to make me happy in life. Meeting Relient K isn't going to satisfy me forever.
Only God and His amazing way of meeting my every need is what truly satisfies me and brings joy to my life.
I think I posted something like this back in May. About getting my focus right and that things had really started being awesome for me because I'd been focused on God instead of myself...yet here I am again focusing on myself instead of God. That just shows my fallen nature. I hate that I get like this...I hate that I keep loosing focus and have to go through so many things to finally realize what really matters. It's going to be so amazing in heaven...no sin. I want that.
All of that to say, I'm going to do better now. I don't know how long it will last, because I'm still a sinner...but all I can do is try and ask God to help me, because He will.
God is amazing.
For now I'm going to go listen to Leeland, but I'll conclude with a few lines from my favorite song which happens to be by Relient K:
You give me hope, and hope it gives me life. You touch my heavy heart, and when You do You make it light. As I exhale, I hear Your voice and I answer You though I hardly make a noise. And from my lips, the worts I choose to say seem pathetic but it's a fallen man's praise. Because I love You. Oh God, I love You. And life is now worth living, if only because of You. And when they say that I am dead and gone, it won't be further from the truth. When I go down I lift my eyes to You. I won't look very far 'cause You'll be there with open arms to lift me up again
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Warped Tour
was awesome. It was also a day of firsts.
My first show of the summer (and probably the last).
My first time traveling more than 40 minutes for a concert.
My first time spending the whole day with just my brother.
My first time going to a music festival.
My first time going to a secular music event.
My first time seeing Ethan Luck.
And, my first time meeting Relient K.
I don't know how to start, so I'm just going to jump right into it. Me and Jay woke up at 6:30 and met all the other swim coaches at the pool because we had to go wake up kids who made it to Championships & Classics (I made it to Championships in Short Free and Butterfly, by the way :D). We stopped doing that at about 8 and headed for Charlotte. The drive up there was pretty easy. My mom kept calling and talking about what me and Jay wanted on the back of our Championship T-Shirts. Jay wanted to put "I'm going to attack you with my long free, backstroke and butterfly swims." because it's kind of making fun of the people who put things like "IM Back to Fly" or "Back Attack" and stupid things like that. I wanted to put "Sorry, I'm awesome" (Drew Shirley quote). But no, my mom didn't let Jay do that because it was making fun of people...and I couldn't put what I wanted to put because it's prideful and only God is awesome. I can't even remember what we ended up going with. We stopped at Jack in the Box and got breakfast and some lady called Jay and said that her kid didn't get waken up that morning. Oops.
Anyway, we pulled into the parking lot of the Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre somewhere around 10:15. We had to wait in line forever. I saw a sign going by that said Mayday Parade was gonna be playing at 11:15. I obviously missed it. We finally got in and got an info sheet and saw that Relient K was playing first on Main Stage at noon. So me and Jay rushed over there and I quickly squeezed my way to the front and saw Meg and Ryne there. Then we waited for their show to start. It did, and it was awesome as always. I've never been up front and center at any show (except for Eleventyseven) so that was really cool. During Sadie Hawkins Dance Matt came down to the crowd and Jay squeezed over and poked his arm and said "OMG! I TOUCHED MATT THIESSEN! I TOUCHED MATT FREAKIN THIESSEN!!" You should know that Jay doesn't really like Relient K...and could care less about things like that...so he was pretty much just making fun of me. Which is dumb because I wouldn't freak out about touching Matt Thiessen haha. And then he kept talking to me about it all day saying "Did you touch Matt Thiessen? I touched Matt Thiessen. I touched his arm." Anyway, Matt definitely pointed at me during Who I Am Hates Who I've Been. And he didn't point with just one finger, he pointed with BOTH fingers. AND smiled. Oh yes. I'm special. Haha, kidding. (didn't I just say I wouldn't freak out about things like that? Haha)
After their show we walked around for a little bit and went to RK's merch tent. I got a ton of crap. And then I came back because I forgot to get a poster and the guy selling the stuff asked, "Didn't you just buy everything?" Then we found out Relient K was gonna be signing at 2 at the Kia tent so we went to go look for it. Ryne was standing there so I stood with him while Jay went and watched Reel Big Fish. And then some dude in a tent in front of us started rapping...and I couldn't hear Reel Big Fish anymore so I went and watched them for a little bit too and then got back in line for Relient K's signing.
We finally got in there and they said something to Meg and Ryne. After their chat it was my turn! Jon was the first one there and I gave him my cd and magazine and I said "Hey! I'm Christi!" And he said, "you're what??" so then I told him again and he said "Oh, hey Christi, I'm Jon" then I said "I know" Haha...stupid thing to say. John was next and our conversation was as follows: Me - "Hey John! John Warne! (I added the last name because he was right beside Schneck. haha) Do you like jelly beans?" John - "Oh I love jelly beans!" Me - "Do you want some jelly beans?? I bought you some jelly beans!!" John all smiley and happy - "You bought me some jelly beans??" Me - "Yes! Here let me get them...(digging through my bag) hold on...I'll find them eventually (pulled out the jelly beans) yes! here...jelly beans!" John - "Yeaaaahhh! thank you!" And then he gave me a high five. Matt T. was next...and he'd already signed my cd and was signing my magazine when I got to him because I wasted time finding John's jelly beans. He was looking at the magazine and I said "Heyy! Matt!!" then he looked up and said "heyy!" then I said "I'm Christi!!" and then he said really happily "Yeah I know! I've seen you online before!" and then I can't really remember the rest..because that made me really happy. But I know he did one of those high five/handshake things that I always mess up on haha. Caleb did it to me the first time I met him and he made me do it 3 more times until I got it right while I was just standing there laughing. Maybe I should practice it so I don't embarrass myself in front of other people. haha. Anyway, Matt asked me how I was doing and if I was having a good time and he said something like it's good to finally meet me in person...or something. haha, it's all kinda blurry. I remember that he was really really nice...and he really looked happy to meet me. After that I kinda skipped over Ethan and Hoopes. I was too happy about Matt actually talking to me and remembering me to say anything to them. They signed my cd and magazine though.
After that, we were gonna wait for Relient K to be done signing so we could get pictures with them. Jay didn't want to wait there so I told him to go do whatever and then meet me at the Hurley Stage to see The Color Fred. That was a big mistake, but you'll hear about that later. After a while Relient K came out of the tent and I really wanted to get a picture with at least one of them but I decided not to bug them and that I would get pictures if I saw any of them walking around later. We walked over and listened to The Academy Is... for a little bit. Matty T. was standing about 20 feet away from me. I really wanted a picture but I didn't want to bother him. Then I decided that I should get one while I had the chance...but when I came to that conclusion he had magically disappeared.
After Matt vanished I went to go meet Jay at the Hurley stage where The Color Fred was playing...but he wasn't there. I walked around a little bit but still couldn't find him so I went back to the Hurley stage. I figured he might get there soon so I went to the TWLOHA tent and bought a shirt. I got the white one that says love is the movement. After a while Jay still wasn't there so I used someone's cell phone to call him. He didn't answer. So I watched TCF for a little bit and then I went over to see Forever The Sickest Kids because I knew Meg and Ryne would be there and I really didn't want to wander around that place alone. In the mean time, I called Jay 2 more times from Ryne's phone. That stage was running late so I went back to where TCF was and waited some more. I'm not complaining though...Fred's awesome. Haha. Then I went back over to see Forever The Sickest Kids. After a while Jay called and I asked him where he was and he said "I don't know. You took the schedule. I have no idea where I am." He told me he was where the blue seats were (the ampitheatre) so I went to go find him. I feel bad for him now...he didn't remember where I said the Hurley stage was so he was just walking around...and he forgot what time Bedouin Soundclash was playing so he missed most of their show.
Me and Jay walked around for a while and during that time we saw some of We The Kings, Beat Union, and Charlotte Sometimes. I also got a Jack's Mannequin t-shirt and an Anberlin t-shirt. There was this monk that was selling books...I just walked passed him...but he stopped Jay and I was just thinking "ohhh no". Jay got talked into getting a book called "The Quest for Enlightenment" and donating 8 dollars to help the monks. Oh how wonderful. After that we saw some guy selling Betwen The Trees' cd for 5 bucks so I got one. After some girls came up and asked for their picture with him I realized he was actually a guy in the band. Hahaha...I can only recognize about 5 bands. I didn't even know what Tom Delonge looked liked until Thursday when I looked him up. After that we went to go see Angels & Airwaves. As I Lay Dying was playing on main stage left while we were waiting for Angels & Airwaves on main stage right. Haha...it was funny. The guy said something and then he said "This song is about forgiveness" and then it started and it goes metalmetalmetalMETALSCREMSCREAMAHHHHHHHHHguitarGUITARMETALSCREAMAHHHHHHHHHH. Yeah. That's pretty much how it goes. I definitely got forgiveness from all of that. Then Angels & Airwaves started. They were cool...they don't have a really fun show but it doesn't matter. It's freakin Tom Delonge. After them, it was Anberlin!!! Their show was incredible!! I really enjoyed it. After Anberlin was Jack's Mannequin. They're awesome too. Not as awesome as Anberlin and not as cool as Tom Delonge but still awesome. After their show we waited for the band on the left stage to be done so Say Anything could start. They were also awesome. There was sooo much crowd surfing at their show...oh my goodness. I got wacked in the head a few times because I sometimes I didn't know someone was coming until they got there. Matt Thiessen came up when they sang Belts but I only got one picture because I couldn't keep the camera still because I kept having to doge/help crowd surfers.
Well, that was pretty much the whole day. I didn't meet any bands except for Relient K and the one guy in Between The Trees. And I didn't get my picture with any of the guys from Relient K but that's okay. Matt Thiessen knew who I was :)
I'm still sore...and my ears are still ringing. For some reason I can't get As I Lay Dying out of my head.
I'll probably blog tomorrow or later this week about some serious stuff me and Jay were talking about on the car ride home.
My first show of the summer (and probably the last).
My first time traveling more than 40 minutes for a concert.
My first time spending the whole day with just my brother.
My first time going to a music festival.
My first time going to a secular music event.
My first time seeing Ethan Luck.
And, my first time meeting Relient K.
I don't know how to start, so I'm just going to jump right into it. Me and Jay woke up at 6:30 and met all the other swim coaches at the pool because we had to go wake up kids who made it to Championships & Classics (I made it to Championships in Short Free and Butterfly, by the way :D). We stopped doing that at about 8 and headed for Charlotte. The drive up there was pretty easy. My mom kept calling and talking about what me and Jay wanted on the back of our Championship T-Shirts. Jay wanted to put "I'm going to attack you with my long free, backstroke and butterfly swims." because it's kind of making fun of the people who put things like "IM Back to Fly" or "Back Attack" and stupid things like that. I wanted to put "Sorry, I'm awesome" (Drew Shirley quote). But no, my mom didn't let Jay do that because it was making fun of people...and I couldn't put what I wanted to put because it's prideful and only God is awesome. I can't even remember what we ended up going with. We stopped at Jack in the Box and got breakfast and some lady called Jay and said that her kid didn't get waken up that morning. Oops.
Anyway, we pulled into the parking lot of the Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre somewhere around 10:15. We had to wait in line forever. I saw a sign going by that said Mayday Parade was gonna be playing at 11:15. I obviously missed it. We finally got in and got an info sheet and saw that Relient K was playing first on Main Stage at noon. So me and Jay rushed over there and I quickly squeezed my way to the front and saw Meg and Ryne there. Then we waited for their show to start. It did, and it was awesome as always. I've never been up front and center at any show (except for Eleventyseven) so that was really cool. During Sadie Hawkins Dance Matt came down to the crowd and Jay squeezed over and poked his arm and said "OMG! I TOUCHED MATT THIESSEN! I TOUCHED MATT FREAKIN THIESSEN!!" You should know that Jay doesn't really like Relient K...and could care less about things like that...so he was pretty much just making fun of me. Which is dumb because I wouldn't freak out about touching Matt Thiessen haha. And then he kept talking to me about it all day saying "Did you touch Matt Thiessen? I touched Matt Thiessen. I touched his arm." Anyway, Matt definitely pointed at me during Who I Am Hates Who I've Been. And he didn't point with just one finger, he pointed with BOTH fingers. AND smiled. Oh yes. I'm special. Haha, kidding. (didn't I just say I wouldn't freak out about things like that? Haha)
After their show we walked around for a little bit and went to RK's merch tent. I got a ton of crap. And then I came back because I forgot to get a poster and the guy selling the stuff asked, "Didn't you just buy everything?" Then we found out Relient K was gonna be signing at 2 at the Kia tent so we went to go look for it. Ryne was standing there so I stood with him while Jay went and watched Reel Big Fish. And then some dude in a tent in front of us started rapping...and I couldn't hear Reel Big Fish anymore so I went and watched them for a little bit too and then got back in line for Relient K's signing.
We finally got in there and they said something to Meg and Ryne. After their chat it was my turn! Jon was the first one there and I gave him my cd and magazine and I said "Hey! I'm Christi!" And he said, "you're what??" so then I told him again and he said "Oh, hey Christi, I'm Jon" then I said "I know" Haha...stupid thing to say. John was next and our conversation was as follows: Me - "Hey John! John Warne! (I added the last name because he was right beside Schneck. haha) Do you like jelly beans?" John - "Oh I love jelly beans!" Me - "Do you want some jelly beans?? I bought you some jelly beans!!" John all smiley and happy - "You bought me some jelly beans??" Me - "Yes! Here let me get them...(digging through my bag) hold on...I'll find them eventually (pulled out the jelly beans) yes! here...jelly beans!" John - "Yeaaaahhh! thank you!" And then he gave me a high five. Matt T. was next...and he'd already signed my cd and was signing my magazine when I got to him because I wasted time finding John's jelly beans. He was looking at the magazine and I said "Heyy! Matt!!" then he looked up and said "heyy!" then I said "I'm Christi!!" and then he said really happily "Yeah I know! I've seen you online before!" and then I can't really remember the rest..because that made me really happy. But I know he did one of those high five/handshake things that I always mess up on haha. Caleb did it to me the first time I met him and he made me do it 3 more times until I got it right while I was just standing there laughing. Maybe I should practice it so I don't embarrass myself in front of other people. haha. Anyway, Matt asked me how I was doing and if I was having a good time and he said something like it's good to finally meet me in person...or something. haha, it's all kinda blurry. I remember that he was really really nice...and he really looked happy to meet me. After that I kinda skipped over Ethan and Hoopes. I was too happy about Matt actually talking to me and remembering me to say anything to them. They signed my cd and magazine though.
After that, we were gonna wait for Relient K to be done signing so we could get pictures with them. Jay didn't want to wait there so I told him to go do whatever and then meet me at the Hurley Stage to see The Color Fred. That was a big mistake, but you'll hear about that later. After a while Relient K came out of the tent and I really wanted to get a picture with at least one of them but I decided not to bug them and that I would get pictures if I saw any of them walking around later. We walked over and listened to The Academy Is... for a little bit. Matty T. was standing about 20 feet away from me. I really wanted a picture but I didn't want to bother him. Then I decided that I should get one while I had the chance...but when I came to that conclusion he had magically disappeared.
After Matt vanished I went to go meet Jay at the Hurley stage where The Color Fred was playing...but he wasn't there. I walked around a little bit but still couldn't find him so I went back to the Hurley stage. I figured he might get there soon so I went to the TWLOHA tent and bought a shirt. I got the white one that says love is the movement. After a while Jay still wasn't there so I used someone's cell phone to call him. He didn't answer. So I watched TCF for a little bit and then I went over to see Forever The Sickest Kids because I knew Meg and Ryne would be there and I really didn't want to wander around that place alone. In the mean time, I called Jay 2 more times from Ryne's phone. That stage was running late so I went back to where TCF was and waited some more. I'm not complaining though...Fred's awesome. Haha. Then I went back over to see Forever The Sickest Kids. After a while Jay called and I asked him where he was and he said "I don't know. You took the schedule. I have no idea where I am." He told me he was where the blue seats were (the ampitheatre) so I went to go find him. I feel bad for him now...he didn't remember where I said the Hurley stage was so he was just walking around...and he forgot what time Bedouin Soundclash was playing so he missed most of their show.
Me and Jay walked around for a while and during that time we saw some of We The Kings, Beat Union, and Charlotte Sometimes. I also got a Jack's Mannequin t-shirt and an Anberlin t-shirt. There was this monk that was selling books...I just walked passed him...but he stopped Jay and I was just thinking "ohhh no". Jay got talked into getting a book called "The Quest for Enlightenment" and donating 8 dollars to help the monks. Oh how wonderful. After that we saw some guy selling Betwen The Trees' cd for 5 bucks so I got one. After some girls came up and asked for their picture with him I realized he was actually a guy in the band. Hahaha...I can only recognize about 5 bands. I didn't even know what Tom Delonge looked liked until Thursday when I looked him up. After that we went to go see Angels & Airwaves. As I Lay Dying was playing on main stage left while we were waiting for Angels & Airwaves on main stage right. Haha...it was funny. The guy said something and then he said "This song is about forgiveness" and then it started and it goes metalmetalmetalMETALSCREMSCREAMAHHHHHHHHHguitarGUITARMETALSCREAMAHHHHHHHHHH. Yeah. That's pretty much how it goes. I definitely got forgiveness from all of that. Then Angels & Airwaves started. They were cool...they don't have a really fun show but it doesn't matter. It's freakin Tom Delonge. After them, it was Anberlin!!! Their show was incredible!! I really enjoyed it. After Anberlin was Jack's Mannequin. They're awesome too. Not as awesome as Anberlin and not as cool as Tom Delonge but still awesome. After their show we waited for the band on the left stage to be done so Say Anything could start. They were also awesome. There was sooo much crowd surfing at their show...oh my goodness. I got wacked in the head a few times because I sometimes I didn't know someone was coming until they got there. Matt Thiessen came up when they sang Belts but I only got one picture because I couldn't keep the camera still because I kept having to doge/help crowd surfers.
Well, that was pretty much the whole day. I didn't meet any bands except for Relient K and the one guy in Between The Trees. And I didn't get my picture with any of the guys from Relient K but that's okay. Matt Thiessen knew who I was :)
I'm still sore...and my ears are still ringing. For some reason I can't get As I Lay Dying out of my head.
I'll probably blog tomorrow or later this week about some serious stuff me and Jay were talking about on the car ride home.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
It's official.
Me and Jay are going to Warped Tour.
We got our tickets last night.
I'm so excited. You have no idea.
I've never been this excited about anything in my life.
I'm finally going to meet Relient K.
Meg and Ryne are going.
Awesome.
We got our tickets last night.
I'm so excited. You have no idea.
I've never been this excited about anything in my life.
I'm finally going to meet Relient K.
Meg and Ryne are going.
Awesome.
Friday, July 4, 2008
I'm A Failure By Design
Once again I've failed in keeping my "I'll blog at least once a week" promise. I'm only human. Failure is kind of expected isn't it? Meh...
Anyway, today is Independence Day. Unfortunately, I have to work tonight. I might have to miss our neighborhood fireworks display because of it. Sucks.
I seriously cannot believe that the swim season is almost over! It seems like we started only 2 weeks ago or something...but Divisionals is next Friday! Every year the season seems to get shorter and shorter. I'm excited though. Divisionals will be fun. I don't think we're gonna win again this year but we did twice in a row so it's all good.
I haven't gone to any concerts this summer.
Anyway, today is Independence Day. Unfortunately, I have to work tonight. I might have to miss our neighborhood fireworks display because of it. Sucks.
I seriously cannot believe that the swim season is almost over! It seems like we started only 2 weeks ago or something...but Divisionals is next Friday! Every year the season seems to get shorter and shorter. I'm excited though. Divisionals will be fun. I don't think we're gonna win again this year but we did twice in a row so it's all good.
I haven't gone to any concerts this summer.
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