crazy night

Dude...tonight was really crazy.

The beginning of my day was pretty normal. I went to the movies with Lucy and saw Prince Caspian again. It was just as good the second time as it was the first time. After that I had to go to the pool because my manager needed to talk to me about something. Then I went home and got ready for swim practice and was looking for my house key for a really long time but couldn't find it. I went to swim practice at 6 and then after swim practice came home and ate a quick supper then went back to the pool because I had to work a party.

After the party I was cleaning up and everything and it took a little longer than normal because Laura (the manager) wasn't there and it was me and this other girl who doesn't work at Sugar Creek...she was a sub. Anyway, she left and me and my dad were finishing up hosing off the deck and turning off the lights. Once we were finished I locked the gate and then I realized that I forgot to put the sign in book back in the guard room so I needed to unlock the gate again and go get it and put it back. I went to the lock box thing and put in the code, opened it up, and looked inside. No keys. You see, I thought there were 2 sets of keys. One for the lock box and one that hangs in the guard room but there's not. When you close you have to put the keys back in the lock box. So me and my dad were standing outside of the pool trying to figure out how on earth we were going to get back inside to get the keys. We waited for a while debating on whether we should jump the fence or not and my dad decided that he was going to but he needed to go home and get his tennis shoes. He had promised Amy that we would go to the gas station and get some candy before we went home so we decided to do that before we went and got his tennis shoes. After all of that we went back to the pool and my dad took his sweet time trying to figure out the safest way to jump the fence. He finally got in and gave me the keys so I went to get the books and put them in the guard room and then I realized I hadn't locked the gates at the top of the stairs so I went to do that.

When I got back down and we were about to leave a lady and a guy pulled up in their car. The lady got out and asked if we had seen a teenager who's name was Adam and kind of looked like Nacho Libre but skinnier...has kind of a mexican fro. (I swear. Those were her exact words.) I told her I couldn't remember if I had or not. And then she asked "wait, was this Julie's party?" and my dad said "No...this was a graduation party for a bunch of middle schoolers." After talking for a little bit my dad told the lady that we would ride up to Stony Creek and see if he was over there and she could go up to Woody Creek and if they found him there for them to just leave but if they didn't find him to wait there until we got back. So we rode up to Stony Creek and me and my dad were both praying on the way up there. We got there and it was locked down and dark. My dad said "There's nobody here. They've already locked up and shut down for the night." But then I noticed something moving and quickly realized it was a person. I told my dad to stop and he rolled down the window and said "Hey! Is your name Adam?" The guy said yeah...and then my dad explained our situation and offered to give him a ride up to Woody Creek because that's where his sister was waiting. So he got in and my dad asked if he was at a party here and Adam said "Yeah. I was one of the ones who got away". He was on the phone with someone named Emily. I'm guessing his girlfriend. From his phone conversation with her I gathered that there was an un-supervised party and there were drugs and alcohol there and the cops were looking for a bunch of people. He said that he didn't do any of it because when him and his friends saw what was going on they went over to some girls house. He ended his conversation with Emily by saying "I'm gonna be in so much trouble. This is like, the worst possible way to start a summer". When he was off the phone my dad said he hoped he wasn't gonna be in too much trouble and he said "Nah...I shouldn't be. I wasn't one of the ones drinking or smoking. Even if the cops found me they'd give me a test or whatever and the most I'd get charged for would be attending a party with available drugs and alcohol." We got to Woody Creek and dropped him off with his sister. She was really happy to see him. She was definitely worried sick.

So after that me and my dad were talking about how amazing it is that everything that happened tonight happened. It's all God's providence. What in the world would cause us to be out at Sugar Creek at 12:30 AM? All that sequence of events before meeting that lady happened at the right time and came together perfectly. If we'd have been a minute later we'd have missed Adam in the parking lot because he would have already crossed the road and gone away and who knows what could have happened to him. God really is amazing. Dad thinks Adam was definitely on something...but that's another story.

When we got home Jay and Lydia were sitting on the trunk of Lydia's car and were like 'Dude! You just missed like, a 2 hour long car chase. There were all these cops and speeding cars going all around here" And then we told him our story. Then Jay looked and Lydia and was like "Whoa! That was probably that guy we saw!" And then I was like "Was he wearing a black AC DC shirt and had a mexican fro?" He said no and said that the guy they saw was running up the street and crossed through the bushes. Jay swore he was wearing boxers...but Lydia thinks they were probably gym shorts. So then we sat outside for a while talking about all the craziness that went on.

It's been a while

Hey guys (and by guys I mean the 2 people that actually read this). Sorry I haven't posted in a while...I've been off in DCland. Haha.

I started working on Saturday. For the most part I'm enjoying the job. It's really easy. I get paid to sit in the sun all day. Awesome. It wasn't that great on Tuesday though because I had to work 6 and a half hours. There was a party of 3rd graders that rented the pool from 9 AM - 2:30 and I had to be there a half an hour early and stay half an hour afterwards to clean up. That was really really really really boring. It was just me and Zach working that day. Haha, I wouldn't trust 2 15-year-olds to run the pool. I've made something like, 85 dollars so far...but I don't get to keep any of it because I have to give my mom 100 dollars for the beach trip. She also paid for some stuff I needed for lifeguarding so I need to pay her back some of that. It's kind of sad getting a check and then having taken away from you. Haha.

My Memorial Day was awesome. I worked from 1-4 but then I went over to the Alfonso's for a huge party that was at their house. My friends Savannah and Gerry were there which was awesome. I hung out with them most of the time. Caleb and his parents were there too. It was a pretty awesome day, but I've realized that I never have anything interesting to say to Caleb when no one else is there. There were a lot of awkward silences. Haha.

The first time I saw this picture I almost stopped breathing. I can't look at it for more than five seconds or else I will squeal like a pig and melt into a puddle of goo. His eyes are just...piercing my soul. If you click it, it will get bigger and maybe you'll know what I'm talking about. Haha, probably not. I'm thinking about doing what Cecelia did and making a list of the famous people I think are the hottest/cutest.

I'm so excited for David! He's going to be HUGE! At the same time I feel bad for him. People won't stop grilling him about the Kimberly Caldwell thing. The poor horse has been dead long enough...why keep beating it? I also feel bad that he can't even WALK anywhere without being smothered by a huge crowd of crazy fans shoving pictures in his face for him to sign and crazy paparazzi shoving cameras in his face . Can't a guy have some breathing room? I can only hope he stays grounded. I'm sure it's all worth it to him.
I love that he cares about his fans so much. His thank you video on his myspace says a lot. And the fact that he always wears the dog tags the Word Nerds gave him...and enlightens us with signs like putting his hand over his heart during performances and putting that flower in his guitar during Dare You To Move. We got him to play a game with us...we asked him to say "plethora" in an interview...and he did! It was great. His whole demeanor changed right before he said it...it was awesome. Now we're going to see if he'll continue playing or not. We're gonna try to get him to say "idyllic".
Haha, this is fun.

Once again feeling sort of apathetic.

How is it "worldly" to talk about and follow American Idol during that season at the dinner table...but it's not worldly to talk about and follow the Redskins during football season?

I don't care anymore if they think I'm being "worldly" by watching American Idol or following bands.
They don't know my heart. They don't know where my focus is. My focus is not on American Idol or Switchfoot or Relient K...I've been trying so hard to keep my focus on God and for the past few weeks I've been succeeding and it's been amazing.
I guess they can't see that.

Goodbyes are never easy

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BKpsH01Hf_U

Friday was my piano recital. It's quite sad because this may be my last year taking from my teacher, Mrs. Davies. It's kind of heart wrenching when I think about it because I've been taking from her for 7 years and I really love her.

Anyway, I did pretty good on my pieces. I messed up a little but I don't care. Haha. After the concert was awards. I got the usual certificates that I get for playing in the clubs and I usually always get a trophy for "outstanding musicianship" or something but this year I got a plaque. Awesome. I've never gotten a plaque before. After the recital we (me and my family) went downstairs for refreshments. We had to stay late because my mom helps clean up. It was just us and Mrs. Davies left and she asked me to help her take stuff to her car so I did. I didn't say bye to her like I should have. She gave me a hug and said "love you sweetie" and I didn't say anything back. Then I just said bye. I think I was too sad to say anything. I cried in the car. To make up for it I decided to go to the recital that was on Saturday because I wanted to really say goodbye to her, just in case I don't come back in the fall(she splits it up into 2 nights because she has a lot of students) and let me tell ya, that was one of the saddest things ever to go through. Both of us nearly cried. I did when I left.

We went to On The Border after the recital and I didn't say much. I was too sad. When we got home I called Cecelia (by this time it was 11 o'clock at night) and that got me in a way better mood. We talked for 2 and a half hours. We talked about many things relating to Jon Foreman and his amazing lyrical talent that God has blessed him with, and how amazing God is and a whole bunch of awesome stuff. I wish I had a transcript of that conversation. Maybe I'll blog about some of those things sometime. I love talking to Cecelia. She's one of only 2 of my friends that I really ever have theological conversations with because none of my other friends are really into that. There is one other friend who does but that's only if you catch her when she's not hyper...which is very rare. Haha I heart Cecelia. I really am blessed to have a friend like her.

:)

Psalm 139

139:1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
_________________________

This is a great Psalm. Well, all the Psalms are great, but I like this one.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
I like that verse. My brother was in a really bad car accident last month and I think that's a really great verse to show how God really does protect us. He was riding with his friend...the car was totaled. My brother could have been killed in that wreck, along with his friend, but God laid His hand upon them and kept them safe.
My brother got the little silver mustang logo from the scene of the wreck...it fell off the car...and he framed it and my mom put that verse above it and he's going to give it to his friend. It also has the date of the accident on it. That was pretty superfluous information right there. Don't know why I told you about that. Haha, oh well.
Anyway, it's really amazing that God is in control of EVERYTHING and I think sometimes we forget that.

I have decided that

Thrice is amazing.

I got The Alchemy Index (all four volumes) the other day at Hot Topic...and I am definitely obsessed now. I liked them before, but now I love them.

I think all of the songs are amazing, but my most favorite ones are as follows:
Firebreather, Burn The Fleet, Digital Sea, Lost Continent, The Whaler, Broken Lungs, The Sky Is Falling, A Song For Milly Michaelson, Silver Wings, Moving Mountains, The Lion And The Wolf, Come All You Weary

I'd probably have to say that my favorite is The Lion and the Wolf. I'm going to figure out how to play it on the piano. There's got to be a super deep meaning behind it. Not exactly sure what it is yet, but I know it's deep. I have some ideas...but I'm not exactly sure.

Lyrics: (you can listen to the song here http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ic4TLheisFc)
The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed. The lion's claws are sharpened for war, the wolf's teeth are red. What a monstrous sight he makes mocking man's best friend. Both the wolf and lion crave the same thing in the end. The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed. The wolf he howls, the lion does roar, the wolf lets him in. The lion runs in through the door, the real fun begins. As they both rush upon you and rip open your flesh. The lion eats his fill and then the wolf cleans up the mess. The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed. The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed.

What do you think it means?
I've heard some really great ideas about it.
Here's some that I think are the best.

Someone said that the lion represents temptation or something along those lines outside of the body, and the wolf is your conscience or demons or however you want to look at it from inside your head. The lion is outside always trying to find a way in, and when the wolf is loud and strong (in your head) it opens the door (you justify), satisfying the temptation. Then you after having fun or however you put it with the temptation or lion, the wolf sticks around and reminds you how you messed up.
This person also says that the wolf is a double meaning for the devil and here is why. "Mocking man's best friend." Man's best friend is Jesus, our savior, redeemer, etc. The devil tries to copy God at times, and this is what Dustin could've meant by mocking.

Someone else said that the wolf is the person. The lion's temptation. The wolf lets him in, the lion just eats up, and the wolf has to clear everything up.

Another person said that the line "mocking man's best friend" is in fact, referring to a dog because 1.) Jesus isn't you best friend, as that would imply He is your equal, and the Bible states He is man's King, and 2.) a dog and wolf are technically the same species. The classic character of the wolf is evil and undermining, so it makes sense that in this song it is saying that the wolf is hiding among you posing as a dog.

One other individual said that they see the lion as satin or evil and the wolf as God. The lion wants to get in and corrupt you but can't because the wolf won't let him in. "The wolfs teeth are red" this means that the wolf being God has conquered evil before. The wolf lets the lion in because God does test us to see if we can beat evil too. "mocking man's best friend" God is pretending to be a dog. "In the end" both the lion and the wolf want your soul. So when the lion gets in he beats down on the person but doesn't kill him. Then "the wolf cleans up the mess". meaning that he saves the person and the story starts over.

And finally, someone else said (I'll just quote it because it'd take too long to change and paraphrase) "Okay, here's what I have managed to piece together. First of all, I think it would be silly to just ignore the fact that this IS a fable by Aesop. That can't simply be coincidence, as Dustin is very well read. But it seems to me, that the Wolf represents pride in the fable, and the Lion is greed. I read another version or something of The Lion and the Wolf and it talks about the Wolf thinking that he is as good as the Lion and as powerful, and then the Lion shows up and kills him.
I do NOT think that the Wolf represents God in the least, because the Wolf is not presented in any sort of good light, and God would not mock, or rip open our flesh.
The line that talks about "mocking man's best friend" can be interpreted a couple of different ways, and I think both are good and should be applied at the same time. First, the Wolf himself mocks man's best friend by being of the canine family, but not as safe as a dog. This view has been pointed out and discussed already. Another thing that makes sense to me is that, in the fable, the Lion teases the Wolf in the end, and mocks him for saying that the Sheep was his, when, in fact, it was not, and the Lion knows it.
So, if the Wolf represents greed, then how does that apply to letting the Lion in? Well, Dustin is an AVID C.S. Lewis fan, and C.S. Lewis talks quite a bit about how Pride is the essential vice, the sin that can lead to all other sins. So, call the Lion whatever you will, but Pride will inevitably lead to him, and together they will destroy you. At least that all seems to make sense to me."

I personally think that the line "mocking man's best friend" is surely referring to the parallels between a wolf and a dog. While a dog is man's best friend, a wolf is a grotesque distortion, sharing a similar form but is wild, bloodstained and ravenous. I also don't think that the wolf is God.
Everything else I haven't decided on yet.

All of that to say, what do you think it means?

And the song stuck in my head today is...

Mae - Brink of Disaster



Light starts in a dark place
The story of a car chase
And I've become the criminal
I'm fleeing from this scene
And being caught in a bad dream
The truth becomes the unthinkable (yeah)

I'm on the brink of disaster
Starin' down the consequences
To brake hard would be better
Tonight I'll do what it takes to feel
Goin' there only faster
Jump the gun and throw it into gear
But the fact of the matter
We're out of control asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Out of control asleep at the wheel

Night falls with no grace
I said I can do anything
But I can do anything wrong
And with burning speed
the rear view says it's catching up to me
But I'm already gone

Tearing it down to open up the highway
We're looking for our exit
No pretending
Spinning out and around, with a sobering smash
Staring at our car crash
Oh, the chase is ending

I'm on the brink of disaster
Starin' down the consequences
To brake hard would be better
We're out of control asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Out of control asleep at the wheel

_____________________________________________

This is such a great song. I got Singularity a few days ago and I am in love with it. I think they have the perfect amount of synthy stuff in it. It's not too much, it's not over-powering the songs.

Great album. Buy it.

I went to the mall today with Jay (my brother), Keone, and Connor. Me and Connor spent a lot of time in Hot Topic. It was fun. We also looked through JC Penny searching for someone who would buy a 26 dollar gift card off of us for 20 dollars. We finally got someone who agreed to it, after Jay and Keone had already left to go watch Keone get his ear pierced for his 16th birthday (Happy birthday Keone). Haha...Connor leaped and ran for joy when that lady handed us the 20 dollars. I bought Thrice - The Alchemy Index Vols. 1 & 2 AND 3 & 4. Oh yes. They're good.

Anyway, I feel like things in my life are starting to go really quite amazing. I think I finally have my focus right. For the past few days I've been focusing on God more than myself or my selfish desires and these few days have been really great. I've been really happy. I used to get depressed really easily when it comes to certain situations (I won't elaborate) but I think I've finally realized that almost every problem boils down to the question "What is your focus?"
If you're focused on yourself then you're going to get depressed easily, but if you're focused on God, then you're prepared for anything because you realize that He's in control of everything. And I think that I had been focused on myself, and not God.
If you trust God in everything, you won't be disappointed when things don't go you're way. It's like this, people let you down, circumstances change, and things only last for a little while, but God never lets His people down, He never changes, and He reigns forever.
I knew that already...but I never applied that knowledge. Like Cecelia said, "I have come to an understanding of many things that I previously knew"

All I can say is, praise the Lord!

I feel better now

Thanks ultimately to God. It's amazing how He works things out. I'd elaborate...but I don't want to get into it all.

It also helped that the wonderfully amazing, Caleb Satterfield told me something incredibly awesome today.

Thank you Caleb.

I realized today

that I'm really selfish.

I'm feeling so upset right now only because of the fact that I'm so selfish.

I thought I had gotten over this...
but I guess I haven't.

AHHHH!!!!!

I'm Living to Shine On

House of Heroes - In the Valley of the Dying Sun

In the valley of the dying sun
I walk a crooked path along
I came across the shadow of a man with an angel’s breath
Oh, boy he said to me, “I see your future”
“Though you long for peace”
“Distraught is your father”
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when I kill the good man
To keep myself from being killed by him
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when I hold my girl
And wonder if she’ll ever love again
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you
While I shake the blood off my hands
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you

Bathe in the powder of a thousand guns
I am the king of sorrows
Water by the tears of the innocent one
The river grows, it moves, it swells
Son, it calls to me, your days are numbered
Sew the seed you will
I am the reaper
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when you kill the good man
To keep yourself from being killed by him
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when you hold your girl
And wonder if she’ll ever love again
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you
Wash the blood off your hands
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you

I howled at the morn like a wolf in the night
You wanna finish it, we’re gonna finish it right
And then I felt it with a chill up my spine
There are no words to use that truly describe
The (?) or the (?) or the terror in me
Tonight will be my ending or tonight my new beginning

And all through the night I wrestled the angel
To undo the curse that’s burdened me all of my life
And for the first time I could see
That God was not my enemy
I’m thinking of you (for the first time I could see)
I’m thinking of you
I’m thinking of you (that God was not my enemy)
I’m thinking of you

Like pieces of the sun, our light burns on and on and on
Like stars in the night sky we shine
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m shining on

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. It's sooooo goood! Go download it. Right now. Along with the other 2 songs. http://www.freehoh.com/

Soo...A lot has happened since my last post...I guess....not really....yeah. There have been good days, and there have been bad days.

My 2 best friends ever, Savannah and Gerry (they're sisters), spent the night with me last Saturday. It was Savannah's birthday, and since mine was on the 16th, we celebrated ours together. It was really fun. I got a new iPod...finally. I didn't get enough money for my birthday to buy one, but I sold Gerry my nano so then I did. I'm in love with my new iPod. Seriously. My brother actually bought me Dashboard Confessional's new CD. Wow. He gave me a birthday present. That's a first. haha.

So that weekend was really good. My birthday was on the 16th, and that was pretty amazing. My day started out by going to the DMV and getting my permit. Oh yes. Very exciting. Then I went to co-op and all my friends were really super excited for me. Haha, it was great. After co-op a bunch of us went to Sonic. That was really fun too. Becca Price got this great idea to sit on the tables. It was pretty fantastic. haha. It's one of those "you had to be there" moments. After that, my mom drove me to Easley to meet up with the Mrs. Alfonso at the girls' gym. Laurel was outside with her little friends washing the car. Since it was her birthday, I definitely threw confetti on her. Haha, it was great. After that I started skipping around the car. Laurel said, "Christi. What are you doing?!? You're supposed to be turning 15 and being more mature, not acting like a child. We're the kids and we're washing the car, and you're the teenager and you're skipping around the car??" Haha...it was hilarious. After that, I went to the Alfonso's house to spend the night. I hung out with 3 of my favorite people ever, Celeste, Cecelia, and Caleb Satterfield. Many memorable things happened that night. God bless you. Hah. Anyway, I was actually really boring that night for some reason. Like, I wasn't myself. I guess I felt kind of excluded...I mean, it was my birthday...but Caleb's friends with the Alfonsos, not me. Seeing them together, and making their jokes, and having their conversations...I kind of felt out of place. Most of the night was just me sitting there listening to them converse back and forth. It was still fun though...just being around them is fun, and I talked here and there, but it wasn't like I expected it to be. Before Wednesday came, I just built it up with all this excitement and thought it was going to be so amazingly spectacular, but when I got there, it wasn't as exciting as I had hoped. And it's not anyone's fault...so don't think I'm saying it's their fault or anything. I don't even know why I feel like this, because I pretty much had the greatest birthday ever. I haven't told anyone all of this...but now I guess I have. Hah.

So yeah...that was my birthday.
I'm taking a lifeguard training class right now. I'm going to be a lifeguard this summer. It's been going good...we learned how to get drowning people out of the water, and we learned CPR...next week we learn first aid.
Oh joy.

I'm definitely way behind at school. My mom's pretty mad at me about that. There's also something going on in our family that I can't tell anyone about...only because it might not happen...but if it does happen...it'd definitely be really depressing for me. I know that's being selfish, because if that's what God leads our family to do...then I should be happy. I just don't like that my mom keeps talking about it and keeps saying things about it to try and make me happy...when I just want her to quit talking about it so I can forget about it unless it actually does happen. Then I'll deal with it. Why deal with it now when it's not really an issue? Why does she have to keep talking about it and making things worse?

Alright...I'm done.