I'm Living to Shine On

House of Heroes - In the Valley of the Dying Sun

In the valley of the dying sun
I walk a crooked path along
I came across the shadow of a man with an angel’s breath
Oh, boy he said to me, “I see your future”
“Though you long for peace”
“Distraught is your father”
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when I kill the good man
To keep myself from being killed by him
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when I hold my girl
And wonder if she’ll ever love again
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you
While I shake the blood off my hands
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you

Bathe in the powder of a thousand guns
I am the king of sorrows
Water by the tears of the innocent one
The river grows, it moves, it swells
Son, it calls to me, your days are numbered
Sew the seed you will
I am the reaper
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when you kill the good man
To keep yourself from being killed by him
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when you hold your girl
And wonder if she’ll ever love again
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you
Wash the blood off your hands
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you

I howled at the morn like a wolf in the night
You wanna finish it, we’re gonna finish it right
And then I felt it with a chill up my spine
There are no words to use that truly describe
The (?) or the (?) or the terror in me
Tonight will be my ending or tonight my new beginning

And all through the night I wrestled the angel
To undo the curse that’s burdened me all of my life
And for the first time I could see
That God was not my enemy
I’m thinking of you (for the first time I could see)
I’m thinking of you
I’m thinking of you (that God was not my enemy)
I’m thinking of you

Like pieces of the sun, our light burns on and on and on
Like stars in the night sky we shine
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m shining on

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. It's sooooo goood! Go download it. Right now. Along with the other 2 songs. http://www.freehoh.com/

Soo...A lot has happened since my last post...I guess....not really....yeah. There have been good days, and there have been bad days.

My 2 best friends ever, Savannah and Gerry (they're sisters), spent the night with me last Saturday. It was Savannah's birthday, and since mine was on the 16th, we celebrated ours together. It was really fun. I got a new iPod...finally. I didn't get enough money for my birthday to buy one, but I sold Gerry my nano so then I did. I'm in love with my new iPod. Seriously. My brother actually bought me Dashboard Confessional's new CD. Wow. He gave me a birthday present. That's a first. haha.

So that weekend was really good. My birthday was on the 16th, and that was pretty amazing. My day started out by going to the DMV and getting my permit. Oh yes. Very exciting. Then I went to co-op and all my friends were really super excited for me. Haha, it was great. After co-op a bunch of us went to Sonic. That was really fun too. Becca Price got this great idea to sit on the tables. It was pretty fantastic. haha. It's one of those "you had to be there" moments. After that, my mom drove me to Easley to meet up with the Mrs. Alfonso at the girls' gym. Laurel was outside with her little friends washing the car. Since it was her birthday, I definitely threw confetti on her. Haha, it was great. After that I started skipping around the car. Laurel said, "Christi. What are you doing?!? You're supposed to be turning 15 and being more mature, not acting like a child. We're the kids and we're washing the car, and you're the teenager and you're skipping around the car??" Haha...it was hilarious. After that, I went to the Alfonso's house to spend the night. I hung out with 3 of my favorite people ever, Celeste, Cecelia, and Caleb Satterfield. Many memorable things happened that night. God bless you. Hah. Anyway, I was actually really boring that night for some reason. Like, I wasn't myself. I guess I felt kind of excluded...I mean, it was my birthday...but Caleb's friends with the Alfonsos, not me. Seeing them together, and making their jokes, and having their conversations...I kind of felt out of place. Most of the night was just me sitting there listening to them converse back and forth. It was still fun though...just being around them is fun, and I talked here and there, but it wasn't like I expected it to be. Before Wednesday came, I just built it up with all this excitement and thought it was going to be so amazingly spectacular, but when I got there, it wasn't as exciting as I had hoped. And it's not anyone's fault...so don't think I'm saying it's their fault or anything. I don't even know why I feel like this, because I pretty much had the greatest birthday ever. I haven't told anyone all of this...but now I guess I have. Hah.

So yeah...that was my birthday.
I'm taking a lifeguard training class right now. I'm going to be a lifeguard this summer. It's been going good...we learned how to get drowning people out of the water, and we learned CPR...next week we learn first aid.
Oh joy.

I'm definitely way behind at school. My mom's pretty mad at me about that. There's also something going on in our family that I can't tell anyone about...only because it might not happen...but if it does happen...it'd definitely be really depressing for me. I know that's being selfish, because if that's what God leads our family to do...then I should be happy. I just don't like that my mom keeps talking about it and keeps saying things about it to try and make me happy...when I just want her to quit talking about it so I can forget about it unless it actually does happen. Then I'll deal with it. Why deal with it now when it's not really an issue? Why does she have to keep talking about it and making things worse?

Alright...I'm done.