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2009.

Well friends, 2009 is over. This marks the end of a great year, and an even greater decade. I'll leave the boring stuff for the end. You really don't have to read any of this whole post. Really. I tend to ramble (it's not even interesting rambling). Just look at the pictures and you'll be good.

2009 was an incredible year for music. So many fantastic albums came out. Most of them I didn't even get until Christmas or after Christmas, so this list could have been different if I'd had more time to listen to the ones I got later. There's also some that I didn't get (The Decemberists, Built to Spill, Muse, John Mayer, The xx, Grizzly Bear, etc.) and some I got but didn't listen to much (Dirty Projectors, Brand New, Phil Wickham, Paper Route, etc.). Out of the albums I did get and listen to, these are my favorites:

10. Owl City - Ocean Eyes

In my defense, I did happen to know about and enjoy Owl City before he was insanely popular. In case you don't believe me, when I saw him with RK back in June (he opened for them, not the other way around), there was absolutely no one talking to him after the show except for a guy from Rookie of the Year. Mmhmm. Popular or not popular, I dig this album. It always puts a smile on my face. It also reminds me of my summer of '09, which was great. It may have also helped that Matt Thiessen sings background vocals in 4 songs. heh.
Recommended songs: Cave In, Hello Seattle, Meteor Shower, Tidal Wave

9. Fruit Bats - The Ruminant Band

Fruit Bats is a great band that I discovered through my brother earlier in 2009. I haven't listened to this album but about 5 times or so, but I can already tell that I'm going to love it. It sounds like the kind of music I'd love to drive around in the country to.
Recommended songs: After only five listens, I'm not sure if I can recommend anything yet, but the ones that stand out right now are The Ruminant Band, Beautiful Morning Light, and Feather Bed

8. Sufjan Stevens - The BQE

Oh, Sufjan. What a character. The BQE is not your typical Sufajn Stevens album. In fact, it's more like a symphony. For this project, Sufjan created an original, psychedelic, Andy Warhol-esque film complete with moving cars, lights, and hula-hoopers. He then composed music (just music) to go along with the film. The CD is the soundtrack of the film. I gotta hand it to him, it's actually really, really good. The soundtrack, I mean. The film is a trip. But in a good way. I felt like it added to the music rather than taking away from it. I still don't know why in the world there's hula-hooping girls... but it is Sufjan Stevens, what do you expect?
Recommended songs (pieces, actually): The whole thing, in order.

7. Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything to Nothing

Before I even got this album, I really wanted it to land the number three spot for this year's list, or at least the top five. Manchester Orchestra's previous album, I'm Like A Virgin Losing a Child, is incredible (one of my favorite albums of all time), so I was expecting the same from this one. Mean Everything To Nothing is great, but I don't think it's nearly as good as their previous release. I guess it was kind of a disappointment, but not a letdown because it's still really, really good. Andy Hull is always really emotional, and that's one of the things I love about his writing. This album is no different than the others in that area. If you have this album and like it, get I'm Like a Virgin Losing A Child. Now. Or, when you have time. :)
Recommended songs: I Can Feel a Hot One, I've Got Friends, Pride, Everything to Nothing

6. Monsters of Folk

Monsters of Folk is a musical collaboration between Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis from Bright Eyes, Jim James from My Monring Jacket, and M. Ward. These guys really are monsters of folk. Put them together and you've got something awesome. I don't really know what to say about this one other than it's good. Really good.
Recommended songs: Say Please; The Right Place; Losion Yo Head; Map of the World; Sandman, the Breakman and Me

5. Fiction Family

I almost forgot about this one because it came out way back in January. If you haven't heard Jon's solo EPs or this album, the sound of Fiction Family will probably be shocking to you considering it's from the frontman of Switchfoot. It's Jon Foreman from Switchfoot and Sean Watkins from Nickel Creek. Though Jon does outshine Sean in my opinion, they both did a fantastic job with this album. I love all the little interludes between the songs. I can't wait to hear the next one.
Recommended songs: We Ride, Throw it Away, War in My Blood, When She's Near

4. Brooke Waggoner - Go Easy Little Doves

I discovered Brooke Waggoner through my friend Alexis. She'd been telling me for a while to listen to her, but I never did until recently. I'm so glad I finally took her advice, because Brooke Waggoner is amazing. Like Alexis said, her music is almost magical. She's got lots of strings and piano and such. Sometimes it's delicate, sometimes it's not, but it's always beautiful and kind of mesmerizing. Listen to some of the songs on her website (brookewaggoner.com). If you like any of those, you'll like this album.
Recommended songs: Go Easy Little Doves, I'll Be Fine; Femmes; Wish for Bridges;

3. Freelance Whales - Weathervanes

This one is the biggest surprise of the year. I heard about Freelance Whales from the local NPR station coming home from French one night with my brother. When I bought it, I was expecting it to be just another indie album, nothing too spectacular. Boy was I wrong. It's incredible!! This is like Sufjan Stevens and Anathallo mixed with The Postal Service. That's right, banjo and synthesizer together. It's awesome. If my two favorite bands hadn't both released albums this year, Weathervanes would easily take the top spot.
Recommended songs: Generator ^ 1st Floor, Starring, Location, Broken Horse, Generator ^ 2nd Floor

2. Relient K - Forget and Not Slow Down

Holy. Cow. I love this band. So much. Forget and Not Slow Down is the best work of Relient K's career. It's definitely one of those albums that has to grow on you, but once it's done, it leaves you speechless. They have matured both lyrically and musically. Seriously, Matt's lyrics on this one are phenomenal. You can really tell that he put his heart into this and made some of the most emotional stuff of his career. At first, I was a little disappointed at the lack of mentions of God, but then I realized that it doesn't need to be there. This album is what Matt needed to write. Also, I gotta hand it to Ethan. His drumming really adds a lot to this album, especially in tracks like Savannah and Sahara. All of the guys really did a fantastic job. I'm already excited to hear what comes next from them.
Recommended songs: I Don't Need a Soul, Savannah, Candlelight, This is The End (If You Want It) [you have to listen to those two together or it doesn't work], Forget and Not Slow Down

1. Switchfoot - Hello Hurricane

Originally, I had planned for Relient K's album to take the first spot, but after hearing about all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into Hello Hurricane, I felt like it deserves it more. All of the guys really immersed themselves with this project, and it shows. Their hard work definitely paid off. As always, Switchfoot seemed to catch me at a time when I needed to hear the songs. "Sing it Out" is by far the winner here. Jon's vocals are fantastic on every song, but especially "Sing it Out". "Free" and "Mess of Me" also have some crazy stuff going on vocally. Lyrically, Jon has yet to disappoint. I really could go on and on about this album, but I'll stop right there and let you find out for yourself how good it is.
Recommended songs: Free, Needle and Haystack Life, Sing it Out, Yet, Bullet Soul

Honorable mentions:
Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeas Phoenix
Regina Spektor – Far
Anchor & Braille – Felt
Deas Vail – Birds & Cages
Fun. - Aim and Ignite.
Paramore – Brand New Eyes

Best EPs of 2009:
The Rocket Summer – You Gotta Believe EP
Death Cab for Cutie – The Open Door EP
House of Heroes – The Acoustic End EP
Mae – (m)orning
Modest Mouse - No One's First and You're Next
(p.s. Go here to get an awesome Christmas EP from Standing Small for FREE along with their song "Sailing Away" which happens to be my favorite SS tune.) [/plug]

Album that would have made last year's list if I had known about it:
Anathallo – Canopy Glow

It's time to reminisce. It was 1999, and we had moved into our current house that summer. I remember New Year's Eve that year pretty clear for only being six years old. My family wasn't worried about Y2K, but everyone else sure was. I wasn't worried per-se, I was just curious. I remember asking if we were going to be okay, and my dad responding with the same thing he says to my little sister when she asks if everything will be okay. He said, “Yes, everything will be fine. And even if it isn't, God will protect us.” The countdown to the new millennium began. Seconds later it was midnight. Nothing happened. I asked, “Is anything going to happen?” My mom said, “If something was going to happen it would have happened already.” I shrugged. And so was the beginning of the year 2000.

It's hard to believe that was ten years ago. No, I'm not going to give an overview of the past decade, but I am going to talk a little bit about this year. Like every year, it's had it's ups and downs (this year seemed to have more downs), but overall it was a really good year. I had a really fantastic summer, and I made a bunch of friends in orchestra and had some great times hanging out with them after rehearsals or recitals. This summer I lifeguarded. In 2008 I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it again, but I'm so glad I did. At the pool, there was always someone to talk to, and when there wasn't I could get in the pool, listen to music, or just sit outside. It was awesome. Orchestra was wonderful. I'm so glad I was able to play again this semester. I can always count on Thursday being a good day.

Last year at this time I made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish in 2009. I managed to achieve some of them. I learned to play the cello, I graduated high school, I had a senior piano recital and didn't completely blow it, I met the rest of the dudes in Relient K and Switchfoot, I witnessed to someone, I made new friends, I learned to drive by myself, I saved money to purchase something important, and I successfully completed my first semester of college.

I've learned (re-learned) a lot of stuff this year about myself, about God, about friendships, about relationships, and about life in general. Through this whole year of being a senior and going to college and everything that goes along with that, I've been thinking about the future. What am I going to major in? What am I going to do in life? What kind of person do I want to be? I haven't been able to answer those questions, and that scared me.

During school, I felt stuck doing the same things over and over again. I felt like I should be doing bigger things. If I'm going to be a musician, I thought I should be playing everything now. If I'm going to be a photographer, I thought I should be taking pictures all the time now. If I'm going to be in a band, I thought I should have already started one. I also missed my friends. Since I'm not in high school anymore, I've lost touch with a lot of friends and haven't had time to hang out with my close friends. Emotionally, I had lots of stuff going on inside my head, but I felt like I had no one to talk to. I also didn't feel fulfilled with what I was doing with music. I haven't loved piano as much as I used to, and I didn't know why.

I had many late night conversations with my parents about everything. They told me the areas I'f been thinking selfishly, but they also gave me comfort and encouragement. Out of all the conversations and thinking, here's what I've learned (and it took the whole year to learn this, which is why I'm blogging about it): God has me right where He wants me to be, and He's going to show me what to do next. I don't have to worry about it. Right now, I'm in school. This is the preparation. I have my whole life ahead of me! Nothing has to be done right now. I can take pictures and play the piano all the time when I'm out of school. I can't be in a band until I have people to be in a band with, and maybe that will happen when I transfer, or maybe I'll get married right after college and decide I don't want to be in a band. For everything there is a season, and right now is the season for learning and education. College. Once I get past this, I can be anything I want to be.

I've decided that I'm probably not going to major in music. Lately I've been feeling like it's not what I want to do. If it's going to make me love music less, I don't want to do it. I just always thought it would be so cool to say that I'm a music major (pride). But I don't have to major in music to be a musician. I just want to play music because I love it. Now I'm left with the dilemma of what to do in college instead of music. Well, guess what? I don't have to worry about that either! Just like God has shown me that I don't want to major in music, He'll show me what I want to do. I still have this whole semester to decide, and even if I can't decide, I'll only be seventeen, so I could even take a year off if I wanted to, and still be one year ahead of most people.

About my friends, I'm okay with not having that many friends. Friends are important, but it doesn't really matter how many you have or how often you hang out with them. If I can't talk to my friends because it's 3 o'clock in the morning or because we're busy, that doesn't mean I'm alone. Something else I've learned this year: God is always there, even when friends aren't. I can share everything with Him. One thing I didn't do a lot of in 2009 was praying. But prayer is huge! Lately I've been more comforted than ever because I've been praying more.

Now, I'm not scared of the future. In fact, I'm looking forward to it. And I don't even have to worry about it, because God has it all planned out. It's not like it's planned out the way He wants it without your interests in mind and there's nothing I can do about it but settle and deal with it. No, what He has planned is always better than anything I, or anyone could ever plan. God's plan is always the best thing that could happen to you, whether you see that it is or not. I don't know about you, but that gives me a lot of comfort. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”

The year did end on a lighter note for me. I did well in college this semester, the holidays were fantastic, and my relationship with God is better than it has been in a long time. In 2010, I want to be nicer to my siblings, keep in touch with my friends, make some new friends, better my prayer life, and trust God more in every area of my life. I don't know what's going to happen this year, but God does. I think it's going to be good, for me, and for you. Everything is going to be fine. But even if it isn't, God will protect us.

Happy New Year.

Let It All Out

This song hit me hard last night. This is why I love this band so much. I haven't listened to them in a while, but somehow I always find their songs at the worst parts of my life and always regain a new sense of hope and encouragement after listening. I know it's not the song that makes me feel better, ultimately it's God, but the songs do help immensely. I'm still really stressed out and overwhelmed by piano and graduating and other things. I think there's something bigger hiding under there too but I can't figure out what it is, so please pray for me. I need to learn to trust God more. I'll leave it at that.

Let It All Out
A song by Relient K

Let it all out, get it all out, rip it out, remove it
Don't be alarmed when the wound begins to bleed

'Cause we're so scared to find out what this life's all about
So scared we're going to lose it
Not knowing all along that's exactly what we need

And today I will trust you with the confidence of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh, inconsistent me crying out for consistency

And you said, "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"

And I'll let it be known at times I have shown signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me there is strength
And you promise me that you believe in time I will defeat this
'Cause somewhere in me there is strength

And today I will trust you with the confidence of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget that that man isn't me

You said, "I know that this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
When the burden seems too much to bear
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"

Reach out to me, make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for You, for You
And I know You know You touched my life
When You touched my heavy heart and made it light

God, all this time I needed You

Another one of my favorite songs.

I So Hate Consequences
A song by Relient K

And I'm good, good, good to go
I got to get away
Get away from all of my mistakes

So here I sit looking at the traffic lights
The red extinguishes I hope that the green ignites
I want to run away I want to ditch my life
Cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says "I'm sorry" can we leave it at that?
Because I just want for all of this to end

And I so hate consequences
And running from You is what my best defense is
Whoa, Consequences
God, don't make me face up to this
And I so hate consequences
And running from You is what my best defense is
Cause I know that I let You down
And I don't want to deal with that

It just now hit me this is more than just a set back
And when you spelled it out, well, I guess I didn't get that
And every trace of momentum is gone
And this isn't turning out the way I want

And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don't want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says "I'm sorry" can we leave it at that?
Because I just want for all of this to end

And I so hate consequences
And running from You is what my best defense is
Whoa, Consequences
God, don't make me face up to this
And I so hate consequences
And running from You is what my best defense is
Cause I know that I let You down
And I don't want to deal with that

And I spent all last night
Tearing down
Every stoplight
And stop sign in this town
Now I think there might
Be no way to stop me now
I'll get away despite
The fact I'm so weighed down
All of my escapes have been exhausted
I thought I had a way but then I lost it
And my resistance was once much stronger
And I know I can't go on like this much longer

When I got tired of running from You
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There Your words they caught my ears
You said, "I miss you son, come home"
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love You felt for me was mine
The love I'd wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I told you so's
I said the words I knew You knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed You
God all this time I needed You, I needed You

And I so hate consequences
And running from You is what my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Because I know that I let you down
And I don't want to deal with that

In His Holy Presence I am Healed and Unashamed

I have the best friend in the world. I spent the night with her last night. We talked about things I'd never talked to anyone about, and she didn't hate me. I thank the Lord for her. I don't cry in songs ever, but last night right before I went to bed was the closest I've ever come to crying during a song. I'd never thought about it in the context of what we were talking about, but it came to mind last night and it really hit home. Hard.

Carried to the Table
A song by Leeland

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

I'm carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

(It's healing in Your arms, for the broken)
You carried me, my God
You carried me
You carried me, my God
You carried me

I want to post more often. But I don't know what to post about. I guess I could post about my day... or things I learned that day... or something... but that might be really lame.
Would that be really lame?

Throw It Away

A song by Fiction Family

I think about the life I live
A figure made of clay
I think about the things I lost
The things I gave away

And when I'm in a certain mood
I search the house and look
One night I found these magic words
In a magic book

Throw it away
Throw it away
Give your love, live your life
Each and every day
And keep your hand wide open
Let the sun shine through
'Cause you can never lose a thing
If it belongs to you

There's a hand to rock the cradle
There's a hand to help us stand
With a gentle kind of motion
As it moves across this land

And to hand's unclenched and open
Gifts of life and love it brings
So keep your hand wide open
If you're needing anything

Throw it away
Throw it away
Give your love, live your life
Each and every day
Keep your hand wide open
Let the sun shine through
'Cause you can never lose a thing
If it belongs to you

This is my take on what the song means. In the beginning, obviously, he's thinking about his life and what all he's done in his life. I think the figure made of clay line is referring to the whole Jesus is the potter, we are the clay thing. The next few lines, I think he could be thinking about the things he's lost or had to give up since becoming a Christian. But he's dissatisfied. He searches and looks for something to satisfy him in the world, but he can't. We all do that sometimes... it happens when we put the focus on ourselves instead of God. Then he says he found these magic words in a magic book. Words of life found in the Bible.
Throw it away - throw away all the things of the world because none of it will satisfy you. You can search and search and search, but you'll always be left wanting more. Throw it away. Give your love to everyone who needs it and live your life to the fullest for God every day. I was talking to my friend Gerry on the phone and she said something interesting about the next lines. She said she heard it from somewhere, to "keep your hands unclenched and don't hold on too tightly. God can take things away. But, whatever he takes away he will replace it with something better." I like that idea. Sometimes we get so caught up in the here and now and we forget to think about ultimate things. We get upset when things don't go the way we thought they were supposed to. We get upset when God doesn't do the things we want him to do. We get upset when things are going really well but then he takes something away. I know I do that a lot. I get so upset about things that don't even matter. We have to remember that all things work together for good, and he has a perfect plan for us. whatever he takes away is for your good, and once you realize that, you get an incredible joy that's not found anywhere else in the universe. It's a completely satisfying joy. Knowing that whatever happens, was in fact supposed to happen. The Lord will take care of you no matter what.
The rest of the song is pretty easy to understand. God is there when we need him. He rocks our cradle, he helps us stand. He gives life. He gives love. Just ask him when you need anything, and he'll give it to you. Not on your time, but on his.

You can't appreciate this song fully until you listen to it. It's amazing. Jon is so good at making the listener feel what he's feeling. Fiction Family's album is incredible. I suggest you buy it soon.

Reviews.

I wrote these. Probably the only things I've ever enjoyed writing. They're pretty short because space was limited in the newsletter they were put in.

Switchfoot Release - The Best Yet

The massively popular band Switchfoot has reached a landmark in their incredible decade-long career with the release of their first ever Greatest Hits record, The Best Yet. This album is a fantastic 18-song collection featuring the band’s most popular songs and finest works from all six of their full length albums.

With each and every song on The Best Yet bringing different sounds to the table, the album truly highlights the diverse range of Switchfoot’s musical abilities. Thought-provoking lyrics, energizing rock, and soothing melodies are all present. Songs like “Meant to Live”, “Stars”, and “Lonely Nation” capture the band’s solid rock sound full of passion while “Only Hope”, “On Fire”, and “The Shadow Proves the Sunshine” slow things down and stir up great emotions in the listener.

With such a wonderful assortment of songs, The Best Yet is perfect for anyone being introduced to Switchfoot for the first time. For long time fans, the deluxe edition of this release includes a DVD featuring all 14 music videos Switchfoot has ever put out. So, whether you’re a newcomer to the Switchfoot family, or a hardcore fan wanting more, The Best Yet is definitely worth the investment.

Jon Foreman Release – Limbs And Branches

Listeners may be surprised when first hearing Jon Foreman’s solo release Limbs And Branches. Because Foreman is the frontman for Switchfoot, naturally one would expect something similar. The fact is Limbs And Branches is very different from anything Switchfoot has ever put out. Take Switchfoot, get rid of the electric guitars and amps, trade the stage for a living room, throw in a cello and some horns, and you’ve got Jon Foreman.

From the first note of the first song, “Your Love is Strong”, Limbs And Branches draws the listener into the music and doesn’t release him until long after the last hum of “Over The River” has resonated. Most of the album is soft, slow, and beautiful but the songs “Resurrect Me” and “Instead Of a Show” liven things up.

Limbs And Branches is absolutely one of the finest albums I have ever heard. The acoustic, down-tempo guitar, the honest lyrics infused with Scripture passages, the soulful melodies, and the raw emotions from the writer make this album truly breathtaking.

If you’re looking for more from Jon Foreman, be sure to pick up his side project with Sean Watkins of Nickel Creek, Fiction Family, due out January 20th.

I'm a little confused.

Just so everyone knows, I HATE writing. Writing like this is fine because it doesn't have to follow any pattern or anything, and I don't have to use special verbs and interesting words and all that, but writing for school is terrible. I don't like it at all. It always takes me an insanely long time to write something. I hate it.

Well, this year I was on my co-op's newspaper staff. I wasn't on there to write, I joined because my mom wanted me to and I was going to do the Guess Who section because all that involves is asking people questions and sending the answers to the editor. This month, I got asked to write album reviews of Switchfoot's The Best Yet and Jon Foreman's Limbs And Branches. Easy. I liked doing that because, well, I love Switchfooot and I love music.

I just got this e-mail from the newspaper lady:

Christi Dear,

I just wanted you to know that I was blown away by your music reviews. They were excellently written and very well thought out. Do you have any idea what a talented writer you are? Do you have any interest in pursuing writing as a career?

Bravo!
Mrs. N

o.O ? *scratches head*

I am most definitely not a talented writer. Even talented writers' blogs are well written. Mine aren't. I want to be a musician. I love music. I hate writing.

You know those days when nothing seems to go right?

Well, that was today. And yesterday.

Yesterday, I wanted to go see Savannah and Gerry. They're my best friends and I hardly ever see them because they live 40 minutes away and I can't drive and both of our families don't have money to spend on gas to drive there without a legitment reason. I also wanted to go see Anberlin and Between The Trees yesterday. I got a new camera lens and I really wanted to use it for the show.

Well, Wednesday, my mom said I couldn't go to the Anberlin show. We got into a huge argument and I was about to cry then I went in my room to finish school. She then came into my room and said "If you're going to have a bad attitude like that then go to the stupid concert. Just go. Know that I don't want you to go, and Dad doesn't want you to go, but if that's all you care about then go and do what you want and follow your idol. I don't care." Well, that sure made me feel a heck of a lot better.

Then, I found out I couldn't go see Savannah and Gerry because my mom told my dad I wasn't going because I said I was going to orchestra instead. Yeah, I said I was going to orchestra, but I was going to go to Easley before that. By that time, it was 10 o'clock at night and it was too late to call Mr. Johnny and tell him we were coming.

My Thursday was ruined. I had a whole lot of school and piano to do on Thursday, but my alarm didn't go off and I woke up at 11:48. I went to orchestra, but it was stupid. It was the first day after Christmas break and all we did was sit there for most of the time while we got music passed back in and new music handed out. We played one song, but that was it. I missed seeing my best friends for that.

Then, I sat at home doing school, practicing piano, and sitting in front of the computer screen all night instead of going to see Anberlin. Well, I did go to swim practice, but that's not fun. My Thursday was horrible. But, I did find out that Standing Small is going to be at The Channel on Sunday. So that made me feel better, because I could take pictures of them. They're certainly not Anberlin, but they're still super awesome, and I can take super awesome pictures of them.

Today started off good. I woke up on time, and I got all of my school done except for some French I still needed to do, then I went with my mom to go to my grandma's to clean her house. I thought we were only going to be over there for 2 hours, at the most, but my mom had to run errands and that took forever, and we ended up staying at my grandma's until 7:30. I still had 2 lessons of French to do and 2 hours of piano to practice. I also found out that I can't go see Standing Small on Sunday. I can't drive so I can't go by myself, I have no one to go with and I don't have enough money. I do, but not enough to go to the show, pay my texting bill, and get the Fiction Family vinyl, which I really, really want.

Anyway, we got McDonalds for dinner and ate it at home. I don't like Pickles and onions so I asked my mom if she wanted them, she said she did but then my parents went upstairs. After a while when I was cleaning up the kitchen I told Amy to go upstairs and ask my mom if she wanted the pickles and onions. Instead, she asked if they wanted some food. They said no, then I told her to ask them about the pickles and onions, not the food, and she wouldn't do it. So I started yelling at her because I was in the kitchen and she was upstairs, and she wouldn't ask them what I wanted her to ask them. So she came back downstairs and said they wanted to be left alone and that my dad said I was obnoxious. Thinking they weren't coming back down since they wanted to be left alone, I threw away the pickles and onions. After that I went upstairs to help Amy set up her DVD player and my mom came out of her room and I said "I hope you didn't want those pickles and onions" and she was like "what?! Yeah! I do! I told you I did!" and then my dad came out and was like "you threw away the pickles and onions?!" and then we got into this huge way exaggerated argument about pickles and onions and it all got blamed on me when yeah, some of it was my fault, but I did tell Amy to ask them and she didn't ask them what I told her to. When she said they wanted to be left alone I assumed they weren't coming back down and that Mom didn't want them. It was really, really stupid, but I was being yelled at and I started crying which made it even worse.

After that was over, I went to finish my 2 lessons of French and I did terrible. I kept making stupid mistakes and getting them wrong (it's on the computer) and I ended up getting like, a 70. Then I went downstairs to practice 2 hours of piano. By this time it was 9 o'clock. Normally, I enjoy practicing piano, but I was in no mood to then. So, I started practicing and I kept messing up. A lot. One of my favorite songs I couldn't get into beacuse I was disctracted and that song is so boring if you can't put emotion into it. Then I decided to work on Moonlight Sonata. The first movement was crazy boring because if you don't play that with emotion it's just seven minutes of... boring. The 2nd and 3rd movements were just as bad. Time kept going by really slowly, and I kept messing up and it was really frustrating. I hate practicing when I don't feel like it. It's just like sitting in a chair for 2 hours doing nothing.

Anyway, there were some other things that don't really matter that happened. But, yesterday and today were terrible days. I didn't feel like doing anything, and I had a whole lot of school to catch up on and a whole lot of piano to practice because I didn't practice on Wednesday because I didn't have time. UGH!

And no, this isn't going to be one of those posts where it ends happy and I talk about God and how I know I shouldn't be feeling like this. No. Yesterday was a terrible day. Today was an even worse day, and that's all there is to it.