You Do It To Yourself, You Do

I'm not in the best mood right now. Things haven't been going my way lately, and it seems to for everyone else. I know that nothing ever goes exactly the way someone planned it but it seems like lately, alot of things have been going wrong for me. Now, I'm not mad at anyone but myself so don't think that I'm mad at anyone. Let me make a list of what's gone wrong lately. Some of these probably seem really stupid to you, and things that I shouldn't be upset about, but I really am, even though I don't quite know why for some things. They're just little things, but alot of little things can add up.

There were a few things I forgot to put in my book for Relient K that would have made it way cooler.

We couldn't go to the concert early because we had to take the Touchet's and they couldn't get to the Alfonso's house until 5. If I had gotten there early, I probably would have met Relient K.

I didn't get picked for Sadie Hawkins Dance but it seems like lots of other people I talk to have the best luck at concerts, and meet everyone and have the time of their life. (I won't mention any names)

Relient K was "sleeping"

We had to leave the concert earlier than I wanted to because we had to take the Touchet's home. Relient K might have come out after we left but I don't know, because we had to leave.

After we drop off the Touchet's and are almost home, I realize that I lost only Relient K t-shirt that I spent $20 on.

Videos:
I found out that every time I pushed the zoom button on my camera it screwed up the sound so it sounds like they have really horrible tempo. I zoomed alot in some videos.
I accidentally closed youtube when The Best Thing was 95% done, so I had to start over.
A few of my videos are too big to upload to youtube. I don't know why, because none of them are over 4 minutes long.
I uploaded 4 videos to megavideo.com and 3 of them failed to "convert" or whatever. So I upload them to youtube and waste about 2 hours because after they were done I go back to megavideo and the other ones actually DID convert.
One of my videos stopped in the middle of uploading
Rebuild just won't seem to upload.
The video I uploaded to google video never finishsed processing, even though it said it did.

I got a 36 on a vocabulary test today.

I finally sent Matty T. a message that's worth replying to, and he hasn't been online since the 2nd, so that means it's probably gonna get lost way down there in his inbox and he's never gonna read it, which means he's not going to reply.

On top of all this, my Mom has been saying that she hates the Christmas song that I'm supposed to play for the Christmas recital coming up in December. She's always telling me when I mess up and telling me how to fix it. I'm the musician, not her. She shouldn't be telling me what I'm doing wrong. She seems to think that I don't notice it when I mess up but I do, and I know how to make it right. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for her. She never says she's proud of me or anything, instead she's always criticizing my playing. Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for her. It seems like she wants me to be the best that there ever was, and I'm just not at that level yet. I know that I'm really good. I mean seriously, I'm 14 and I'm playing Beetoven, Rachmaninoff, Mozart, and stuff like that. I may not be as good as all of the insanely amazing asian kids that have no life and practice 20 million hours a day, but that's because I have a life, and I have more things to do then sit at the piano all day perfecting every thing. It just makes me really frustrated.

I'm trying to remeber Romans 8:28 when all these bad things are happening to me, but it's really easy to get discouraged. Don't get me wrong and think that I'm depressed, because I'm not, because I know that there's no reason to be depressed when your delight is in the Lord. I've just been noticing things that aren't going the way I planned alot lately.

I know that I had an amazing time at the concert, and that alot of cool things happened but it's just so easy to get hung upon the history of what's gone wrong (hah, Relient K lyric)

Don't bother leaving a comment telling me how stupid it is that I'm upset or that I should stop complaining and being mad. Just don't. It's my private thoughts that I openly posted on the world wide, highly traveled, information superhighway so don't tell me how to think, because it won't help. You can say anything else though.