I love Relient K.

So, Winter Wonder Slam was fun. Nothing super interesting happened that's worth devoting 10 paragraphs to so if I blogged about every detail you'd probably get really bored. Which is why I'm only going to tell you the things you need to know :)
I'll add some pictures to make it a little more interesting.

I made some really ugly looking brownies for Relient K. Only the frosting was ugly. But ugly doesn't mean yucky. I wrote RK on one of them and I gave it to Cecelia to put on the top row because I wanted to put the best looking ones on top and she said "Uhm, what is that supposed to say?" and I said "RK!" and she said "oh. It looks like KK." Oops. Hah, anywayyy... when we got there I gave my brownies to Tyler and he gave them to Relient K because at the Bi-Lo Center, you're not going to run into any of the guys before the show. Stupid Bi-Lo Center.

When we got to go inside there was this annoying lady who kept saying we needed a wrist band... and I was pretty sure we didn't... because we would have had one... So we went to a different entrance and went over there and guess what? We didn't need wrist bands. We were supposed to get them when we went on to the dance floor.

B. Reith came on and whoa. He is very good looking. :) I really enjoyed him. He was really talented and funny. Did I mention he was good looking? After that was Family Force 5. It was my first FF5 show and HOLY CRAP! Yeah, that's all I really need to say about that. It was like... whoa. After that awesomeness was Relient K. HOORAY! They were awesome as always. I'm pretty sure Matt definitely smiled at me during one of their first songs, I can't remember which one... but then again he could have been smiling at someone else. So, they were awesome but I have to say, I wasn't a big fan of their set list. I guess that's understandable since they weren't headlining... but I've never really seen them on a headlining tour and I've seen better. So I dunno. I mean, I enjoyed it A LOT and I'm sure everyone around me could tell that I did, but I was reeeeaallyyy hoping they'd play a couple from The Bird & The Bee Sides. I liked the Christmas songs though. Oh, I accidentally deleted my video of I Celebrate The Day. Anyway, when they were done playing I went and paid 25 dollars for a t-shirt that apparently only costs 3 dollars to make. We went back in during Toby Mac's set and sat down in the back of the dance floor area. Then when they were done and came out for the encore we got back up because I knew the Winter Wonder Slam song was coming up. Schneck came out and played guitar during Jesus Freak so that was cool. Then they did the last song... and holy fruitcake it was amazing! Matt Thiessen was going crazy! He was seriously getting his groove on, kids (not sure why I'm calling you kids since I'm probably younger than everyone who's going to read this. hah)! He was running around and at one point I thought he was about to do the chicken dance... or in the middle of the chicken dance... but then he didn't do it. Then Nadaddy from FF5 jumped on his back and Matt spun him around and he sung a little bit and walked around a little bit more. It was amazing!!!

After the show we went and waited by the tour buses and talked to Xanadu for a while... then Hoopes came out riding a bicycle (?) and I got a picture with him and asked him if he got my brownies and he said yeah and they were good and gave me a high five for making them. There was only a few people who knew who Matt was so once he talked to them he just kind of stood there awkwardly... but then he went and talked to Meg and Ryne. Then Schneck came out and I talked to him for like 10 seconds and then Crouton came out there and we talked to him and then I went to get Matt H. to sign my shoe. I wanted to get Jon to also but before I could he had mysteriously vanished. Oh well. Then Ethan came out and I asked him if he saw my brownies and he was like "Oh! The really messy ones?" and I explained to him that they were messy because I made them in my car and he said "you made them in your car??" and I said "no I mean, I put the frosting on in the car!" and Cecelia and Celeste were over there making fun of me. Hah. Then Ethan said something about an oven in my car... and yeah, I don't know haha. We talked to him for a little bit... he was really cool. Chap Stique came out a little later. After that we waited for John or Matty T to come out but they didn't and everyone was really annoyed with me so we left.

So, fun was had on Thursday night. :D
But I can't wait until I'm 17 and can go to more shows at more venues and get there at whatever time I want to and leave at whatever time I want to. It's going to be amazing.

And if you care, I'll probably upload videos sometime this week. But don't count on it. I still haven't uploaded all my Warped Tour videos. Hahah. I'm so lazy.

(no subject)

I've decided not to explain certain things I believe in writing again. Nor will I be sarcastic in writing. People get offended when I don't mean for them to get offended. I don't like offending people. And I don't know how to get people to be un-offended. That's a problem I need to work on. I can't seem to let things go when I do something to hurt other people's feelings... even if it's been several months. I still feel bad because I don't know if that person is still offended or not. Even if they've told me they're not. I always debate whether or not to talk to them and make sure they know I never meant to do something... but most of the time I end up not saying anything because they've probably already forgotten about it... but then I still feel guilty about it.

Anyway, all you need to know about what I believe is that I love Jesus, and I believe the Bible.

Also, I love everyone, and would never say anything to suggest otherwise.

It's bigger than cold religion.

It's bigger than life. Love is the movement.

I decided that I'm not going to spend time planning out my blogs and then never get around to blogging... I'm just going to blog and blurt out whatever is in my head and hope that it sounds good (Hannah just totally said that in a comment on my last post).

I have a new favorite band now. I bet ya can't guess what it is. *sarcasm* RK fans... don't freak. Relient K is my 2nd favorite band by a mile. It just so happens that the other band I like a little bit better. Actually, I like everything about them a wholllee lot better than Relient K except for their music. Musically, I like them about the same... but I like everything else about Switchfoot better than everything else about Relient K.
I like the members of Switchfoot better than Relient K. (not by much though. Matt, Matt, John, Jon, and Ethan are totally radzilla)
I think Switchfoot's theology is more accurate than Relient K's. There's like, 3 RK songs I don't agree with necessarily but I haven't found a Switchfoot song I don't agree with yet. What a person believes is a big deal to me. I have a deeper connection with someone I agree with theologically.
Switchfoot's podcasts are way better than Relient K's. Sorry, but they are. Haha.
Switchfoot fans are usually nicer than Relient K fans. (Extra emphasis on the word usually. I'm friends with a lot of you rk fans on myspace and you're super awesome)
Jon Foreman is the coolest person on the planet.

So yeah, this blog is probably going to be about Switchfoot.
They're songs are so deep. Pretty much all of them. They make me think. They make me excited...excited about life...and excited about the Lord. Relient K's songs make me excited about life and bout God... but they don't make me think very much. Matt Thiessen is pretty straightforward when talking about God. At least, I think so.

Jon Foreman...dude he's incredible. I love how he paraphrases Scripture in a lot of his solo songs.

The Switchfoot podcasts are freakin' hilarious. Go watch one of them like, now. It doesn't matter which one. Once you watch it you'll want to watch the rest of them.

Alright, well it's 12:30 AM and I have school in the morning so I'm gonna get off. I'll end with an song.

This one's about a dream
I had last night
How an old man tracked me home
And stepped inside
He put his foot inside the door
And gave a crooked smile
Something in his eyes
Something in his laugh
Something in his voice
That made my skin crawl off

He said, "I've seen you here before
I know your name.
You could have your pick
Of pretty things.
You could have it all
Everything at once.
Everything you've seen,
Everything you'll need,
Everything you've ever had in fantasies."

"You've one life,
You've one life.
You've one life left to lead."

I woke up from my dream
As a golden man
With a girl I've never seen
With golden skin
I jumped up to my feet
She asked me what was wrong
I began to scream
I don't think this is me
Is this just a dream
Or really happening?

"You've one life,
You've one life.
You've one life left to lead."

What direction?
What direction?
I'm splitting up!
I'm splitting up!
This is my personal disaffection

What direction? What direction?
What direction now?

I looked outside the glass
At golden shores
Golden ships and masts
With golden cords
As my reflection passed
I hated what I saw
My golden eyes were dead
And a thought passed through my head
A heart that is made of gold can't really beat at all

I wanted to wake up again
Without a touch of gold

What direction?
What direction?
What direction?
Death or action!
Life begins at the intersection.

I woke up as before
But the gold was gone
My wife was at the door
With her night robe on
My heart beat once or twice
And life flooded my veins
Everything had changed
My lungs had found their voice
And what was once routine
And what was once routine was now the perfect joy

You've one life
You've one life
You've one life left to lead
- Faust, Midas, and Myself by Switchfoot.

Epic Fail.

Let's face it, I'm just not a good blogger.

Over the past few months there's been at least 3 things I've wanted to blog about. I'll start planning in my head and putting together a blog that will be this great, epic piece of literature and it will all sound really good and I'll get really excited but then... I don't blog.

I was going to blog about the Olympics and how it's really all pride and vanity. Michael Phelps' 8 gold medals mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. He's going to have joy because of that for a little while, but I am going to have joy forever because of Christ ans His love for me. But then...

I was going to blog about politics and how Barack Obama is an evil man and how I hate the liberal media because they jump all over the republicans and talk about all the so-called lies they tell and everything... but they never do that to the democrats when really they're the ones who tell the most lies and are well, bad. Hey guess what? Politicians lie. Except for Ron Paul. He doesn't lie. Sarah Palin is cool too. I was going to talk about how John McCain isn't a very good candidate either. So what do we do then? If they're both bad, who do you vote for? Do you vote for the lesser of two evils? Do you vote third party? I was going to blog about that but then...

Then I was going to blog about my heroes and how lately they seem to be disappointing me and how I wish everyone would just be like Jon Foreman because he hasn't disappointed me yet. He just keeps being awesome.

There were others too... but none of those are going to get finished. I'm not good at blogging. I have lots of things to say... I'm just too lazy to take the time to sit down and think logically. So now I'm just blogging about things I was going to blog about but am not really going to blog about. Pretty interesting, huh?

no.

Oh, guess what? My room is dark purple now.
Yeah. It's radtastic.

I love how I'm blogging about nothing. Which is okay because no one is going to read this because I'm not going to tell anyone about it. If you did just read this, then you are my new best friend and I love you.

When I Go Down, I Go Down Hard

I was gonna go into detail in this blog...but then I started to and realized that I'm really bad at organizing my thoughts and putting them in writing. So I'm just gonna say random stuff without a whole lot of details. Maybe there will be details, I don't know. Most of this is stuff me and Jay talked about/things I realized on the car ride home from Warped Tour.

I've done a lot of stupid things lately and have unfortunately hurt some people in the process. I need to think before I speak. I just hope everything's not too messed up for me to be able to prove to everyone that I really am trying to do better.

I'm actually a really selfish person.

I over think things all the time. I need to learn to chill.

I'm too obsessed with Relient K. I keep telling myself that the main reason I love them is because of the amazing lyrics Matt Thiessen writes that help me in every situation...and it's true that they do...but my brother is right..if that's the main reason, then why couldn't I stop thinking about them on Monday? How come all I wanted all day was a picture with at least one of the band members? Loving their music is okay and there's nothing wrong with wanting to meet the people who make that music, but being obsessed isn't good. Maybe my parents are right. Maybe I am beginning to idolize them.

Human beings aren't good role models. No matter how perfect you think they are, they're really not...and they will disappoint you. I learned that the hard way.

I'm really lazy. I haven't done any chores in a long time. I also haven't been diligent in my music studies, and it definitely shows.

I've just been really immature about everything lately. I used to think I was more mature than a lot of people my age (I guess that's pride), but lately I've been acting like a 2-year-old.

I think that all of this stuff comes down to one problem. I haven't been focused on God like I should be. I haven't been reading my Bible. I haven't been praying. I haven't been paying attention in church. I've known for a long time that I wasn't focusing on the right things, but instead of repenting and running away from my sin, I've been running away from God. That ends now.

Getting stuff I want and doing what I want isn't going to make me happy in life. Meeting Relient K isn't going to satisfy me forever.
Only God and His amazing way of meeting my every need is what truly satisfies me and brings joy to my life.
I think I posted something like this back in May. About getting my focus right and that things had really started being awesome for me because I'd been focused on God instead of myself...yet here I am again focusing on myself instead of God. That just shows my fallen nature. I hate that I get like this...I hate that I keep loosing focus and have to go through so many things to finally realize what really matters. It's going to be so amazing in heaven...no sin. I want that.

All of that to say, I'm going to do better now. I don't know how long it will last, because I'm still a sinner...but all I can do is try and ask God to help me, because He will.

God is amazing.
For now I'm going to go listen to Leeland, but I'll conclude with a few lines from my favorite song which happens to be by Relient K:
You give me hope, and hope it gives me life. You touch my heavy heart, and when You do You make it light. As I exhale, I hear Your voice and I answer You though I hardly make a noise. And from my lips, the worts I choose to say seem pathetic but it's a fallen man's praise. Because I love You. Oh God, I love You. And life is now worth living, if only because of You. And when they say that I am dead and gone, it won't be further from the truth. When I go down I lift my eyes to You. I won't look very far 'cause You'll be there with open arms to lift me up again

Warped Tour

was awesome. It was also a day of firsts.
My first show of the summer (and probably the last).
My first time traveling more than 40 minutes for a concert.
My first time spending the whole day with just my brother.
My first time going to a music festival.
My first time going to a secular music event.
My first time seeing Ethan Luck.
And, my first time meeting Relient K.

I don't know how to start, so I'm just going to jump right into it. Me and Jay woke up at 6:30 and met all the other swim coaches at the pool because we had to go wake up kids who made it to Championships & Classics (I made it to Championships in Short Free and Butterfly, by the way :D). We stopped doing that at about 8 and headed for Charlotte. The drive up there was pretty easy. My mom kept calling and talking about what me and Jay wanted on the back of our Championship T-Shirts. Jay wanted to put "I'm going to attack you with my long free, backstroke and butterfly swims." because it's kind of making fun of the people who put things like "IM Back to Fly" or "Back Attack" and stupid things like that. I wanted to put "Sorry, I'm awesome" (Drew Shirley quote). But no, my mom didn't let Jay do that because it was making fun of people...and I couldn't put what I wanted to put because it's prideful and only God is awesome. I can't even remember what we ended up going with. We stopped at Jack in the Box and got breakfast and some lady called Jay and said that her kid didn't get waken up that morning. Oops.
Anyway, we pulled into the parking lot of the Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre somewhere around 10:15. We had to wait in line forever. I saw a sign going by that said Mayday Parade was gonna be playing at 11:15. I obviously missed it. We finally got in and got an info sheet and saw that Relient K was playing first on Main Stage at noon. So me and Jay rushed over there and I quickly squeezed my way to the front and saw Meg and Ryne there. Then we waited for their show to start. It did, and it was awesome as always. I've never been up front and center at any show (except for Eleventyseven) so that was really cool. During Sadie Hawkins Dance Matt came down to the crowd and Jay squeezed over and poked his arm and said "OMG! I TOUCHED MATT THIESSEN! I TOUCHED MATT FREAKIN THIESSEN!!" You should know that Jay doesn't really like Relient K...and could care less about things like that...so he was pretty much just making fun of me. Which is dumb because I wouldn't freak out about touching Matt Thiessen haha. And then he kept talking to me about it all day saying "Did you touch Matt Thiessen? I touched Matt Thiessen. I touched his arm." Anyway, Matt definitely pointed at me during Who I Am Hates Who I've Been. And he didn't point with just one finger, he pointed with BOTH fingers. AND smiled. Oh yes. I'm special. Haha, kidding. (didn't I just say I wouldn't freak out about things like that? Haha)
After their show we walked around for a little bit and went to RK's merch tent. I got a ton of crap. And then I came back because I forgot to get a poster and the guy selling the stuff asked, "Didn't you just buy everything?" Then we found out Relient K was gonna be signing at 2 at the Kia tent so we went to go look for it. Ryne was standing there so I stood with him while Jay went and watched Reel Big Fish. And then some dude in a tent in front of us started rapping...and I couldn't hear Reel Big Fish anymore so I went and watched them for a little bit too and then got back in line for Relient K's signing.
We finally got in there and they said something to Meg and Ryne. After their chat it was my turn! Jon was the first one there and I gave him my cd and magazine and I said "Hey! I'm Christi!" And he said, "you're what??" so then I told him again and he said "Oh, hey Christi, I'm Jon" then I said "I know" Haha...stupid thing to say. John was next and our conversation was as follows: Me - "Hey John! John Warne! (I added the last name because he was right beside Schneck. haha) Do you like jelly beans?" John - "Oh I love jelly beans!" Me - "Do you want some jelly beans?? I bought you some jelly beans!!" John all smiley and happy - "You bought me some jelly beans??" Me - "Yes! Here let me get them...(digging through my bag) hold on...I'll find them eventually (pulled out the jelly beans) yes! here...jelly beans!" John - "Yeaaaahhh! thank you!" And then he gave me a high five. Matt T. was next...and he'd already signed my cd and was signing my magazine when I got to him because I wasted time finding John's jelly beans. He was looking at the magazine and I said "Heyy! Matt!!" then he looked up and said "heyy!" then I said "I'm Christi!!" and then he said really happily "Yeah I know! I've seen you online before!" and then I can't really remember the rest..because that made me really happy. But I know he did one of those high five/handshake things that I always mess up on haha. Caleb did it to me the first time I met him and he made me do it 3 more times until I got it right while I was just standing there laughing. Maybe I should practice it so I don't embarrass myself in front of other people. haha. Anyway, Matt asked me how I was doing and if I was having a good time and he said something like it's good to finally meet me in person...or something. haha, it's all kinda blurry. I remember that he was really really nice...and he really looked happy to meet me. After that I kinda skipped over Ethan and Hoopes. I was too happy about Matt actually talking to me and remembering me to say anything to them. They signed my cd and magazine though.
After that, we were gonna wait for Relient K to be done signing so we could get pictures with them. Jay didn't want to wait there so I told him to go do whatever and then meet me at the Hurley Stage to see The Color Fred. That was a big mistake, but you'll hear about that later. After a while Relient K came out of the tent and I really wanted to get a picture with at least one of them but I decided not to bug them and that I would get pictures if I saw any of them walking around later. We walked over and listened to The Academy Is... for a little bit. Matty T. was standing about 20 feet away from me. I really wanted a picture but I didn't want to bother him. Then I decided that I should get one while I had the chance...but when I came to that conclusion he had magically disappeared.
After Matt vanished I went to go meet Jay at the Hurley stage where The Color Fred was playing...but he wasn't there. I walked around a little bit but still couldn't find him so I went back to the Hurley stage. I figured he might get there soon so I went to the TWLOHA tent and bought a shirt. I got the white one that says love is the movement. After a while Jay still wasn't there so I used someone's cell phone to call him. He didn't answer. So I watched TCF for a little bit and then I went over to see Forever The Sickest Kids because I knew Meg and Ryne would be there and I really didn't want to wander around that place alone. In the mean time, I called Jay 2 more times from Ryne's phone. That stage was running late so I went back to where TCF was and waited some more. I'm not complaining though...Fred's awesome. Haha. Then I went back over to see Forever The Sickest Kids. After a while Jay called and I asked him where he was and he said "I don't know. You took the schedule. I have no idea where I am." He told me he was where the blue seats were (the ampitheatre) so I went to go find him. I feel bad for him now...he didn't remember where I said the Hurley stage was so he was just walking around...and he forgot what time Bedouin Soundclash was playing so he missed most of their show.
Me and Jay walked around for a while and during that time we saw some of We The Kings, Beat Union, and Charlotte Sometimes. I also got a Jack's Mannequin t-shirt and an Anberlin t-shirt. There was this monk that was selling books...I just walked passed him...but he stopped Jay and I was just thinking "ohhh no". Jay got talked into getting a book called "The Quest for Enlightenment" and donating 8 dollars to help the monks. Oh how wonderful. After that we saw some guy selling Betwen The Trees' cd for 5 bucks so I got one. After some girls came up and asked for their picture with him I realized he was actually a guy in the band. Hahaha...I can only recognize about 5 bands. I didn't even know what Tom Delonge looked liked until Thursday when I looked him up. After that we went to go see Angels & Airwaves. As I Lay Dying was playing on main stage left while we were waiting for Angels & Airwaves on main stage right. Haha...it was funny. The guy said something and then he said "This song is about forgiveness" and then it started and it goes metalmetalmetalMETALSCREMSCREAMAHHHHHHHHHguitarGUITARMETALSCREAMAHHHHHHHHHH. Yeah. That's pretty much how it goes. I definitely got forgiveness from all of that. Then Angels & Airwaves started. They were cool...they don't have a really fun show but it doesn't matter. It's freakin Tom Delonge. After them, it was Anberlin!!! Their show was incredible!! I really enjoyed it. After Anberlin was Jack's Mannequin. They're awesome too. Not as awesome as Anberlin and not as cool as Tom Delonge but still awesome. After their show we waited for the band on the left stage to be done so Say Anything could start. They were also awesome. There was sooo much crowd surfing at their show...oh my goodness. I got wacked in the head a few times because I sometimes I didn't know someone was coming until they got there. Matt Thiessen came up when they sang Belts but I only got one picture because I couldn't keep the camera still because I kept having to doge/help crowd surfers.

Well, that was pretty much the whole day. I didn't meet any bands except for Relient K and the one guy in Between The Trees. And I didn't get my picture with any of the guys from Relient K but that's okay. Matt Thiessen knew who I was :)
I'm still sore...and my ears are still ringing. For some reason I can't get As I Lay Dying out of my head.

I'll probably blog tomorrow or later this week about some serious stuff me and Jay were talking about on the car ride home.

It's official.

Me and Jay are going to Warped Tour.
We got our tickets last night.

I'm so excited. You have no idea.

I've never been this excited about anything in my life.

I'm finally going to meet Relient K.

Meg and Ryne are going.

Awesome.

I'm A Failure By Design

Once again I've failed in keeping my "I'll blog at least once a week" promise. I'm only human. Failure is kind of expected isn't it? Meh...

Anyway, today is Independence Day. Unfortunately, I have to work tonight. I might have to miss our neighborhood fireworks display because of it. Sucks.

I seriously cannot believe that the swim season is almost over! It seems like we started only 2 weeks ago or something...but Divisionals is next Friday! Every year the season seems to get shorter and shorter. I'm excited though. Divisionals will be fun. I don't think we're gonna win again this year but we did twice in a row so it's all good.

I haven't gone to any concerts this summer.

crazy night

Dude...tonight was really crazy.

The beginning of my day was pretty normal. I went to the movies with Lucy and saw Prince Caspian again. It was just as good the second time as it was the first time. After that I had to go to the pool because my manager needed to talk to me about something. Then I went home and got ready for swim practice and was looking for my house key for a really long time but couldn't find it. I went to swim practice at 6 and then after swim practice came home and ate a quick supper then went back to the pool because I had to work a party.

After the party I was cleaning up and everything and it took a little longer than normal because Laura (the manager) wasn't there and it was me and this other girl who doesn't work at Sugar Creek...she was a sub. Anyway, she left and me and my dad were finishing up hosing off the deck and turning off the lights. Once we were finished I locked the gate and then I realized that I forgot to put the sign in book back in the guard room so I needed to unlock the gate again and go get it and put it back. I went to the lock box thing and put in the code, opened it up, and looked inside. No keys. You see, I thought there were 2 sets of keys. One for the lock box and one that hangs in the guard room but there's not. When you close you have to put the keys back in the lock box. So me and my dad were standing outside of the pool trying to figure out how on earth we were going to get back inside to get the keys. We waited for a while debating on whether we should jump the fence or not and my dad decided that he was going to but he needed to go home and get his tennis shoes. He had promised Amy that we would go to the gas station and get some candy before we went home so we decided to do that before we went and got his tennis shoes. After all of that we went back to the pool and my dad took his sweet time trying to figure out the safest way to jump the fence. He finally got in and gave me the keys so I went to get the books and put them in the guard room and then I realized I hadn't locked the gates at the top of the stairs so I went to do that.

When I got back down and we were about to leave a lady and a guy pulled up in their car. The lady got out and asked if we had seen a teenager who's name was Adam and kind of looked like Nacho Libre but skinnier...has kind of a mexican fro. (I swear. Those were her exact words.) I told her I couldn't remember if I had or not. And then she asked "wait, was this Julie's party?" and my dad said "No...this was a graduation party for a bunch of middle schoolers." After talking for a little bit my dad told the lady that we would ride up to Stony Creek and see if he was over there and she could go up to Woody Creek and if they found him there for them to just leave but if they didn't find him to wait there until we got back. So we rode up to Stony Creek and me and my dad were both praying on the way up there. We got there and it was locked down and dark. My dad said "There's nobody here. They've already locked up and shut down for the night." But then I noticed something moving and quickly realized it was a person. I told my dad to stop and he rolled down the window and said "Hey! Is your name Adam?" The guy said yeah...and then my dad explained our situation and offered to give him a ride up to Woody Creek because that's where his sister was waiting. So he got in and my dad asked if he was at a party here and Adam said "Yeah. I was one of the ones who got away". He was on the phone with someone named Emily. I'm guessing his girlfriend. From his phone conversation with her I gathered that there was an un-supervised party and there were drugs and alcohol there and the cops were looking for a bunch of people. He said that he didn't do any of it because when him and his friends saw what was going on they went over to some girls house. He ended his conversation with Emily by saying "I'm gonna be in so much trouble. This is like, the worst possible way to start a summer". When he was off the phone my dad said he hoped he wasn't gonna be in too much trouble and he said "Nah...I shouldn't be. I wasn't one of the ones drinking or smoking. Even if the cops found me they'd give me a test or whatever and the most I'd get charged for would be attending a party with available drugs and alcohol." We got to Woody Creek and dropped him off with his sister. She was really happy to see him. She was definitely worried sick.

So after that me and my dad were talking about how amazing it is that everything that happened tonight happened. It's all God's providence. What in the world would cause us to be out at Sugar Creek at 12:30 AM? All that sequence of events before meeting that lady happened at the right time and came together perfectly. If we'd have been a minute later we'd have missed Adam in the parking lot because he would have already crossed the road and gone away and who knows what could have happened to him. God really is amazing. Dad thinks Adam was definitely on something...but that's another story.

When we got home Jay and Lydia were sitting on the trunk of Lydia's car and were like 'Dude! You just missed like, a 2 hour long car chase. There were all these cops and speeding cars going all around here" And then we told him our story. Then Jay looked and Lydia and was like "Whoa! That was probably that guy we saw!" And then I was like "Was he wearing a black AC DC shirt and had a mexican fro?" He said no and said that the guy they saw was running up the street and crossed through the bushes. Jay swore he was wearing boxers...but Lydia thinks they were probably gym shorts. So then we sat outside for a while talking about all the craziness that went on.

It's been a while

Hey guys (and by guys I mean the 2 people that actually read this). Sorry I haven't posted in a while...I've been off in DCland. Haha.

I started working on Saturday. For the most part I'm enjoying the job. It's really easy. I get paid to sit in the sun all day. Awesome. It wasn't that great on Tuesday though because I had to work 6 and a half hours. There was a party of 3rd graders that rented the pool from 9 AM - 2:30 and I had to be there a half an hour early and stay half an hour afterwards to clean up. That was really really really really boring. It was just me and Zach working that day. Haha, I wouldn't trust 2 15-year-olds to run the pool. I've made something like, 85 dollars so far...but I don't get to keep any of it because I have to give my mom 100 dollars for the beach trip. She also paid for some stuff I needed for lifeguarding so I need to pay her back some of that. It's kind of sad getting a check and then having taken away from you. Haha.

My Memorial Day was awesome. I worked from 1-4 but then I went over to the Alfonso's for a huge party that was at their house. My friends Savannah and Gerry were there which was awesome. I hung out with them most of the time. Caleb and his parents were there too. It was a pretty awesome day, but I've realized that I never have anything interesting to say to Caleb when no one else is there. There were a lot of awkward silences. Haha.

The first time I saw this picture I almost stopped breathing. I can't look at it for more than five seconds or else I will squeal like a pig and melt into a puddle of goo. His eyes are just...piercing my soul. If you click it, it will get bigger and maybe you'll know what I'm talking about. Haha, probably not. I'm thinking about doing what Cecelia did and making a list of the famous people I think are the hottest/cutest.

I'm so excited for David! He's going to be HUGE! At the same time I feel bad for him. People won't stop grilling him about the Kimberly Caldwell thing. The poor horse has been dead long enough...why keep beating it? I also feel bad that he can't even WALK anywhere without being smothered by a huge crowd of crazy fans shoving pictures in his face for him to sign and crazy paparazzi shoving cameras in his face . Can't a guy have some breathing room? I can only hope he stays grounded. I'm sure it's all worth it to him.
I love that he cares about his fans so much. His thank you video on his myspace says a lot. And the fact that he always wears the dog tags the Word Nerds gave him...and enlightens us with signs like putting his hand over his heart during performances and putting that flower in his guitar during Dare You To Move. We got him to play a game with us...we asked him to say "plethora" in an interview...and he did! It was great. His whole demeanor changed right before he said it...it was awesome. Now we're going to see if he'll continue playing or not. We're gonna try to get him to say "idyllic".
Haha, this is fun.

Once again feeling sort of apathetic.

How is it "worldly" to talk about and follow American Idol during that season at the dinner table...but it's not worldly to talk about and follow the Redskins during football season?

I don't care anymore if they think I'm being "worldly" by watching American Idol or following bands.
They don't know my heart. They don't know where my focus is. My focus is not on American Idol or Switchfoot or Relient K...I've been trying so hard to keep my focus on God and for the past few weeks I've been succeeding and it's been amazing.
I guess they can't see that.

Goodbyes are never easy

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BKpsH01Hf_U

Friday was my piano recital. It's quite sad because this may be my last year taking from my teacher, Mrs. Davies. It's kind of heart wrenching when I think about it because I've been taking from her for 7 years and I really love her.

Anyway, I did pretty good on my pieces. I messed up a little but I don't care. Haha. After the concert was awards. I got the usual certificates that I get for playing in the clubs and I usually always get a trophy for "outstanding musicianship" or something but this year I got a plaque. Awesome. I've never gotten a plaque before. After the recital we (me and my family) went downstairs for refreshments. We had to stay late because my mom helps clean up. It was just us and Mrs. Davies left and she asked me to help her take stuff to her car so I did. I didn't say bye to her like I should have. She gave me a hug and said "love you sweetie" and I didn't say anything back. Then I just said bye. I think I was too sad to say anything. I cried in the car. To make up for it I decided to go to the recital that was on Saturday because I wanted to really say goodbye to her, just in case I don't come back in the fall(she splits it up into 2 nights because she has a lot of students) and let me tell ya, that was one of the saddest things ever to go through. Both of us nearly cried. I did when I left.

We went to On The Border after the recital and I didn't say much. I was too sad. When we got home I called Cecelia (by this time it was 11 o'clock at night) and that got me in a way better mood. We talked for 2 and a half hours. We talked about many things relating to Jon Foreman and his amazing lyrical talent that God has blessed him with, and how amazing God is and a whole bunch of awesome stuff. I wish I had a transcript of that conversation. Maybe I'll blog about some of those things sometime. I love talking to Cecelia. She's one of only 2 of my friends that I really ever have theological conversations with because none of my other friends are really into that. There is one other friend who does but that's only if you catch her when she's not hyper...which is very rare. Haha I heart Cecelia. I really am blessed to have a friend like her.

:)

Psalm 139

139:1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain!
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
_________________________

This is a great Psalm. Well, all the Psalms are great, but I like this one.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
I like that verse. My brother was in a really bad car accident last month and I think that's a really great verse to show how God really does protect us. He was riding with his friend...the car was totaled. My brother could have been killed in that wreck, along with his friend, but God laid His hand upon them and kept them safe.
My brother got the little silver mustang logo from the scene of the wreck...it fell off the car...and he framed it and my mom put that verse above it and he's going to give it to his friend. It also has the date of the accident on it. That was pretty superfluous information right there. Don't know why I told you about that. Haha, oh well.
Anyway, it's really amazing that God is in control of EVERYTHING and I think sometimes we forget that.

I have decided that

Thrice is amazing.

I got The Alchemy Index (all four volumes) the other day at Hot Topic...and I am definitely obsessed now. I liked them before, but now I love them.

I think all of the songs are amazing, but my most favorite ones are as follows:
Firebreather, Burn The Fleet, Digital Sea, Lost Continent, The Whaler, Broken Lungs, The Sky Is Falling, A Song For Milly Michaelson, Silver Wings, Moving Mountains, The Lion And The Wolf, Come All You Weary

I'd probably have to say that my favorite is The Lion and the Wolf. I'm going to figure out how to play it on the piano. There's got to be a super deep meaning behind it. Not exactly sure what it is yet, but I know it's deep. I have some ideas...but I'm not exactly sure.

Lyrics: (you can listen to the song here http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ic4TLheisFc)
The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed. The lion's claws are sharpened for war, the wolf's teeth are red. What a monstrous sight he makes mocking man's best friend. Both the wolf and lion crave the same thing in the end. The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed. The wolf he howls, the lion does roar, the wolf lets him in. The lion runs in through the door, the real fun begins. As they both rush upon you and rip open your flesh. The lion eats his fill and then the wolf cleans up the mess. The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed. The lion's outside of your door, the wolf's in your bed.

What do you think it means?
I've heard some really great ideas about it.
Here's some that I think are the best.

Someone said that the lion represents temptation or something along those lines outside of the body, and the wolf is your conscience or demons or however you want to look at it from inside your head. The lion is outside always trying to find a way in, and when the wolf is loud and strong (in your head) it opens the door (you justify), satisfying the temptation. Then you after having fun or however you put it with the temptation or lion, the wolf sticks around and reminds you how you messed up.
This person also says that the wolf is a double meaning for the devil and here is why. "Mocking man's best friend." Man's best friend is Jesus, our savior, redeemer, etc. The devil tries to copy God at times, and this is what Dustin could've meant by mocking.

Someone else said that the wolf is the person. The lion's temptation. The wolf lets him in, the lion just eats up, and the wolf has to clear everything up.

Another person said that the line "mocking man's best friend" is in fact, referring to a dog because 1.) Jesus isn't you best friend, as that would imply He is your equal, and the Bible states He is man's King, and 2.) a dog and wolf are technically the same species. The classic character of the wolf is evil and undermining, so it makes sense that in this song it is saying that the wolf is hiding among you posing as a dog.

One other individual said that they see the lion as satin or evil and the wolf as God. The lion wants to get in and corrupt you but can't because the wolf won't let him in. "The wolfs teeth are red" this means that the wolf being God has conquered evil before. The wolf lets the lion in because God does test us to see if we can beat evil too. "mocking man's best friend" God is pretending to be a dog. "In the end" both the lion and the wolf want your soul. So when the lion gets in he beats down on the person but doesn't kill him. Then "the wolf cleans up the mess". meaning that he saves the person and the story starts over.

And finally, someone else said (I'll just quote it because it'd take too long to change and paraphrase) "Okay, here's what I have managed to piece together. First of all, I think it would be silly to just ignore the fact that this IS a fable by Aesop. That can't simply be coincidence, as Dustin is very well read. But it seems to me, that the Wolf represents pride in the fable, and the Lion is greed. I read another version or something of The Lion and the Wolf and it talks about the Wolf thinking that he is as good as the Lion and as powerful, and then the Lion shows up and kills him.
I do NOT think that the Wolf represents God in the least, because the Wolf is not presented in any sort of good light, and God would not mock, or rip open our flesh.
The line that talks about "mocking man's best friend" can be interpreted a couple of different ways, and I think both are good and should be applied at the same time. First, the Wolf himself mocks man's best friend by being of the canine family, but not as safe as a dog. This view has been pointed out and discussed already. Another thing that makes sense to me is that, in the fable, the Lion teases the Wolf in the end, and mocks him for saying that the Sheep was his, when, in fact, it was not, and the Lion knows it.
So, if the Wolf represents greed, then how does that apply to letting the Lion in? Well, Dustin is an AVID C.S. Lewis fan, and C.S. Lewis talks quite a bit about how Pride is the essential vice, the sin that can lead to all other sins. So, call the Lion whatever you will, but Pride will inevitably lead to him, and together they will destroy you. At least that all seems to make sense to me."

I personally think that the line "mocking man's best friend" is surely referring to the parallels between a wolf and a dog. While a dog is man's best friend, a wolf is a grotesque distortion, sharing a similar form but is wild, bloodstained and ravenous. I also don't think that the wolf is God.
Everything else I haven't decided on yet.

All of that to say, what do you think it means?

And the song stuck in my head today is...

Mae - Brink of Disaster



Light starts in a dark place
The story of a car chase
And I've become the criminal
I'm fleeing from this scene
And being caught in a bad dream
The truth becomes the unthinkable (yeah)

I'm on the brink of disaster
Starin' down the consequences
To brake hard would be better
Tonight I'll do what it takes to feel
Goin' there only faster
Jump the gun and throw it into gear
But the fact of the matter
We're out of control asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Out of control asleep at the wheel

Night falls with no grace
I said I can do anything
But I can do anything wrong
And with burning speed
the rear view says it's catching up to me
But I'm already gone

Tearing it down to open up the highway
We're looking for our exit
No pretending
Spinning out and around, with a sobering smash
Staring at our car crash
Oh, the chase is ending

I'm on the brink of disaster
Starin' down the consequences
To brake hard would be better
We're out of control asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Asleep at the wheel
Out of control asleep at the wheel

_____________________________________________

This is such a great song. I got Singularity a few days ago and I am in love with it. I think they have the perfect amount of synthy stuff in it. It's not too much, it's not over-powering the songs.

Great album. Buy it.

I went to the mall today with Jay (my brother), Keone, and Connor. Me and Connor spent a lot of time in Hot Topic. It was fun. We also looked through JC Penny searching for someone who would buy a 26 dollar gift card off of us for 20 dollars. We finally got someone who agreed to it, after Jay and Keone had already left to go watch Keone get his ear pierced for his 16th birthday (Happy birthday Keone). Haha...Connor leaped and ran for joy when that lady handed us the 20 dollars. I bought Thrice - The Alchemy Index Vols. 1 & 2 AND 3 & 4. Oh yes. They're good.

Anyway, I feel like things in my life are starting to go really quite amazing. I think I finally have my focus right. For the past few days I've been focusing on God more than myself or my selfish desires and these few days have been really great. I've been really happy. I used to get depressed really easily when it comes to certain situations (I won't elaborate) but I think I've finally realized that almost every problem boils down to the question "What is your focus?"
If you're focused on yourself then you're going to get depressed easily, but if you're focused on God, then you're prepared for anything because you realize that He's in control of everything. And I think that I had been focused on myself, and not God.
If you trust God in everything, you won't be disappointed when things don't go you're way. It's like this, people let you down, circumstances change, and things only last for a little while, but God never lets His people down, He never changes, and He reigns forever.
I knew that already...but I never applied that knowledge. Like Cecelia said, "I have come to an understanding of many things that I previously knew"

All I can say is, praise the Lord!

I feel better now

Thanks ultimately to God. It's amazing how He works things out. I'd elaborate...but I don't want to get into it all.

It also helped that the wonderfully amazing, Caleb Satterfield told me something incredibly awesome today.

Thank you Caleb.

I realized today

that I'm really selfish.

I'm feeling so upset right now only because of the fact that I'm so selfish.

I thought I had gotten over this...
but I guess I haven't.

AHHHH!!!!!

I'm Living to Shine On

House of Heroes - In the Valley of the Dying Sun

In the valley of the dying sun
I walk a crooked path along
I came across the shadow of a man with an angel’s breath
Oh, boy he said to me, “I see your future”
“Though you long for peace”
“Distraught is your father”
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when I kill the good man
To keep myself from being killed by him
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when I hold my girl
And wonder if she’ll ever love again
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you
While I shake the blood off my hands
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you

Bathe in the powder of a thousand guns
I am the king of sorrows
Water by the tears of the innocent one
The river grows, it moves, it swells
Son, it calls to me, your days are numbered
Sew the seed you will
I am the reaper
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when you kill the good man
To keep yourself from being killed by him
I’m thinking of you, I’m thinking of you when you hold your girl
And wonder if she’ll ever love again
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you
Wash the blood off your hands
I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of, I’m thinking of you

I howled at the morn like a wolf in the night
You wanna finish it, we’re gonna finish it right
And then I felt it with a chill up my spine
There are no words to use that truly describe
The (?) or the (?) or the terror in me
Tonight will be my ending or tonight my new beginning

And all through the night I wrestled the angel
To undo the curse that’s burdened me all of my life
And for the first time I could see
That God was not my enemy
I’m thinking of you (for the first time I could see)
I’m thinking of you
I’m thinking of you (that God was not my enemy)
I’m thinking of you

Like pieces of the sun, our light burns on and on and on
Like stars in the night sky we shine
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m living to shine on
I’m shining on

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. It's sooooo goood! Go download it. Right now. Along with the other 2 songs. http://www.freehoh.com/

Soo...A lot has happened since my last post...I guess....not really....yeah. There have been good days, and there have been bad days.

My 2 best friends ever, Savannah and Gerry (they're sisters), spent the night with me last Saturday. It was Savannah's birthday, and since mine was on the 16th, we celebrated ours together. It was really fun. I got a new iPod...finally. I didn't get enough money for my birthday to buy one, but I sold Gerry my nano so then I did. I'm in love with my new iPod. Seriously. My brother actually bought me Dashboard Confessional's new CD. Wow. He gave me a birthday present. That's a first. haha.

So that weekend was really good. My birthday was on the 16th, and that was pretty amazing. My day started out by going to the DMV and getting my permit. Oh yes. Very exciting. Then I went to co-op and all my friends were really super excited for me. Haha, it was great. After co-op a bunch of us went to Sonic. That was really fun too. Becca Price got this great idea to sit on the tables. It was pretty fantastic. haha. It's one of those "you had to be there" moments. After that, my mom drove me to Easley to meet up with the Mrs. Alfonso at the girls' gym. Laurel was outside with her little friends washing the car. Since it was her birthday, I definitely threw confetti on her. Haha, it was great. After that I started skipping around the car. Laurel said, "Christi. What are you doing?!? You're supposed to be turning 15 and being more mature, not acting like a child. We're the kids and we're washing the car, and you're the teenager and you're skipping around the car??" Haha...it was hilarious. After that, I went to the Alfonso's house to spend the night. I hung out with 3 of my favorite people ever, Celeste, Cecelia, and Caleb Satterfield. Many memorable things happened that night. God bless you. Hah. Anyway, I was actually really boring that night for some reason. Like, I wasn't myself. I guess I felt kind of excluded...I mean, it was my birthday...but Caleb's friends with the Alfonsos, not me. Seeing them together, and making their jokes, and having their conversations...I kind of felt out of place. Most of the night was just me sitting there listening to them converse back and forth. It was still fun though...just being around them is fun, and I talked here and there, but it wasn't like I expected it to be. Before Wednesday came, I just built it up with all this excitement and thought it was going to be so amazingly spectacular, but when I got there, it wasn't as exciting as I had hoped. And it's not anyone's fault...so don't think I'm saying it's their fault or anything. I don't even know why I feel like this, because I pretty much had the greatest birthday ever. I haven't told anyone all of this...but now I guess I have. Hah.

So yeah...that was my birthday.
I'm taking a lifeguard training class right now. I'm going to be a lifeguard this summer. It's been going good...we learned how to get drowning people out of the water, and we learned CPR...next week we learn first aid.
Oh joy.

I'm definitely way behind at school. My mom's pretty mad at me about that. There's also something going on in our family that I can't tell anyone about...only because it might not happen...but if it does happen...it'd definitely be really depressing for me. I know that's being selfish, because if that's what God leads our family to do...then I should be happy. I just don't like that my mom keeps talking about it and keeps saying things about it to try and make me happy...when I just want her to quit talking about it so I can forget about it unless it actually does happen. Then I'll deal with it. Why deal with it now when it's not really an issue? Why does she have to keep talking about it and making things worse?

Alright...I'm done.

I'm feeling sort of apathetic.

My birthday is in 4 days. I'm excited. I'll be fifteen finally! :) If all goes well, I'll have my permit on Wednesday! :D

My friend Savannah's birthday is today. Her and her sister are my best friends so they're coming over to spend the night tonight. They should be here soon. I'm really excited :) I hardly ever get to see them because they live about 40 minutes away so anytime I get to see them is amazing. On Sunday is our little family get together birthday thing. I haven't had a big party since I was 10. I'm hoping that I get enough money from my family members to buy a new iPod because I desperately need a bigger one.



My parents are frustrating sometimes. They really don't like a lot of the things I like, and sometimes I feel like they're mad at me for liking some of the things I like. Like the whole music scene...I'm not talking about the secular music scene because I know they don't like that and I agree with them there. I like some secular music...but I don't like that music scene...but I'm talking about even the Christian music scene. They really don't like it. They don't like concerts because my dad says it's just like worship...they play their song while the crowd cheers and praises them. So to him, it's a symbol of idolatry. I don't feel that way about it...yes, you're cheering them and everything, but I don't see it as worship. Sometimes fans do worship the bands and everything, but I don't do that. Concerts are so amazing...it's like the only time that I can feel completely alive, and be myself. My parents would hate to see me go crazy and jump around at concerts. They would have been so mad if they saw me on stage at the Eleventyseven show. When I go to a concert, I can just forget about all my problems at home...and just be myself. It's really awesome. I feel like sometimes my parents are really mad that I go to concerts...and that I like to go to concerts. I was talking to them the other day and my dad said that when he got saved, he stopped going to concerts. To me, that seemed like he was implying that I'm being ungodly for going to concerts. I don't think he thinks that...or else he wouldn't let me go to them at all...but still, that's what it sounded like. Before the Eleventyseven concert last month...my mom was really mad at me. She wasn't supposed to see Jonathan, because I knew she wouldn't like him, but she did...and then she got even more mad. I just wanted to get out...and go forget about it all at the concert but as you know, we didn't think the Alfonso's were there yet (which they were) so after waiting...my mom went to the post office...All I wanted during that horrible car ride was to get out and get out as fast as possible! I wanted my mom to stop being so mad. I wanted to stop crying and have an amazing time with the coolest people I know.

My parents found out that I wrote my essay about Caleb. We were eating at On The Border (I know...we went out to eat...that's amazing). When they found out my mom was like "oh my gosh!! talk about infatuation!!!" I could tell they were both unhappy. I tried to tell them that I didn't write about him because he's in the band or anything...it's because he really is the nicest/coolest person I've ever met. They didn't like that. But seriously, when I first met Caleb, I didn't even like Eleventyseven...and I still thought he was really cool. If he wasn't in the band...and I knew him...I probably still would have written about him just because he seemed like the best choice.

There's a lot of other things I'm not sure that I agree with them about (hair thing)...and they make me feel like because I disagree with them, or think differently then they do about certain things that I'm a bad person...or something. I mean, what does it matter if I disagree with them? Unless it's a major theology problem...haha. As long as I'm not doing anything bad or something, it shouldn't matter. I feel like if they knew everything about me...they wouldn't like me. I feel like sometimes I can't be myself around them. In certain areas I can...but not all the time. I don't talk about the amazing experiences I have at concerts...I don't talk about messages I get from the rk guys or the eleventyseven guys...because they'd think I'm obsessed with them and that they've become idols in my life when I know that's not true. I don't want to be the person my parents want me to be. I want to be who God wants me to be...and I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with who I want to be and I think that who I want to be is okay, and that it could be who God wants me to be.

I feel suffocated around them when I'm with my friends sometimes. Music is the thing that interests me the most. Besides God, it's what I like talking about the most. If I'm not talking to Cecelia about God, I'm most likely talking about music. But I feel like that when my parents are there, I can't talk about music stuff...or about bands...or stuff like that because once again, they'd just think I'm obsessed and that the bands are idols in my life. I'm obsessed with God, not bands. I guess they don't see that. I was at the Alfonso's last week and we had watched Enchanted and I didn't really say anything the whole time to Celeste or Cecelia...because my parents were there...and they wouldn't like me talking about all the music stuff. I also had a lot of stuff to say after we watched Enchanted, but my dad didn't like that movie so for some reason I didn't feel comfortable saying anything or quoting anything that was hilarious from the movie to Cecelia. I don't know...but it was weird.

I feel like I'm stuck between who I want to be and who my parents are, who they think I am, and who they want me to be.

Right now, I don't really care about what they think of me (hence the blog title). I've noticed that whenever they get mad at me, I just sit there and take it and don't really care...then I just go to my room and listen to music. Music always makes me feel better. I don't care if they don't like me. I don't care if they get mad at me for being myself. They can think what they want about me...but they don't define me. I don't define myself either. God defines me.

So what if I like concerts? So what if I like the Christian music scene? So what if I wrote my essay about Caleb? So what if I don't think blue hair is such a horrible thing? What does it matter? As long as I have Christ, does any of this other stuff really matter?

Do Hard Things

The Rebelution - A teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture

These guys are amazing. Join the rebelution.

http://www.therebelution.com/index.php

About the Rebelution: (Copied from http://www.therebelution.com/about/rebelution.htm)

The official definition of the 'rebelution' is "a teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture." When you look around today, in terms of godly character and practical competence, our culture does not expect much of us young people. We are not only expected to do very little that is wise or good, but we're expected to do the opposite. Our media-saturated youth culture is constantly reinforcing lower and lower standards and expectations.

The word 'rebelution' is a combination of the words "rebellion" and "revolution." So it carries a sense of an uprising against social norms. But in this case, it's not a rebellion against God-established authority, but against the low expectations of our society. It's a refusal to be defined by our ungodly, rebellious culture. Actually, we like to think of it as rebelling against rebellion.

And it's exciting, because the Rebelution has really become a type of counter-cultural youth movement among Christian young people from around the country, and even around the world, who are not only rejecting the lies and the corruption of media-saturated youth culture, but they're returning to biblical and historical levels of character and competence.

In 1 Timothy 4:12, the Apostle Paul tells Timothy, "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity." In other words, as young people we are called to be exemplary in all areas of life. Our generation is falling incredibly short of that calling. Instead of serving as the launching pad of life, the teen years are seen as a vacation from responsibility. We call it the "myth of adolescence." And the Rebelution is all about busting that myth.

The battle cry of The Rebelution is just three words, but it's an explosive concept: Do Hard Things. That's it. And "do hard things" is a mentality. It's a mentality that flies right in the face of our culture's low expectations. The world says, "You're young, have fun!" It tells us to "obey your thirst" and "just do it." Or it tells us, "You're great! You don't need to exert yourself." But those kinds of mindsets sabotage biblical character and competence.

"Do Hard Things" is just the opposite. It's how we build character and competence. It won't drop to meet the low expectations, it won't just do what comes easily, and it won't become complacent. It applies no matter who you are or what level you're on, because there's always something harder to do, something that will take you outside your comfort zone and cause you to grow.

The Rebelution is made up of three fundamental parts. We've talked about two of them: character and competence. The third one is collaboration. It's not enough for us to be individual exceptions. It's not enough for us to try to ignore the culture. We have to create a counter-culture. The way we do that is by networking, exhorting, and encouraging one another in the fight. By God's grace, that's what The Rebelution has become. And when you have a community of young people mutually committed to doing hard things in their teen years for the glory of God, that's an incredibly powerful thing.

This weekend was good

Yesterday was Jeff and Katie's wedding. It was really awesome. My dad was the preacher dude for it...haha, preacher dude. It was at the Daniel chapel over at Furman University. Oh my goodness...the chapel is soooo amazing. I can just imagine playing a concert in there...me on the piano, center stage, spotlight, in front of that amazing pipe organ. Wow. Breathtaking. I really want to go to college at Furman now. Nathaniel Fryml goes there. He's amazing. Anyway, the wedding was really beautiful. Katie looked amazing. Mr. Chris was the soloist and let me tell ya, he sang AMAZING. The acoustics in the chapel were sooooo good...It was seriously the best I've ever heard him sing. It was incredible. Before the presentation of the couple, the Hershberger and Moore families got up and sang an absolutely amazing version of the Doxology. It was really awesome, and very appropriate for the occasion...to have the family of the groom sing that amazing version of the Doxology.

The reception was great too. The rest of the Saturday was pretty good too.

Today was a very good day. It was like, unusually good. Today also sparked many inside jokes. Haha, it was great.

(Let's go!!) hahahahahaha

In Sunday school this morning everyone was really really happy...which is weird...because usually everyone's all cranky and tired, but today they were all happy and talkative. Haha, it was nice. Then after Sunday school we (Keone, Connor, me, Celeste, Cecelia, and Parker) were talking in the foyer and everyone was still really happy. Connor got his hair cut and got highlights. It looks cool.

After church I went with the Alfonso's and we went to Quizno's with the Smith's. I hadn't been to Quizno's since the time I went with Caleb, Cecelia, and Mr. Alfonso. Hahaha...that was hilarious. After we ate me, Celeste, Cecelia, Connor, and Erica went to Circuit City because it's right beside Quizno's and we figured that the Alfonso's and the Smith's would be talking for a while. We went in there and we looked at all of the stuff and then we played Guitar Hero 3. I totally beasted everyone. Hahaha. It was awesome. After we played Guitar Hero, I bought Jimmy Eat World's (semi) new CD. I think it's really good.

When we got to the Alfonso's house I wanted to go watch The Office but it's up in the apartment...and we didn't know if Mr. Alfonso wanted us to go up there...it would have been okay but he was outside cleaning the pond so we would have had to walk past him to get to the apartment. So we just went inside and talked in Celeste and Cecelia's room. In there was the only sad part of the day...we were talking about stuff...I won't get into it...I'll save it for another blog.

After we were done talking it was time to go back to church. We had a mini marriage conference there so it was 3 hours long instead of just 2. During the second hour me, Celeste, and Cecelia had nursery. Haha, I am in love with those little kids. I got some amazing pictures of Charlotte (the cutest baby alive). When it was time for the third hour, we didn't think that we really needed to be in there since it was all about marriage and stuff so me, Connor, Keone, Parker, Celeste, Cecelia, and Erica went outside. I won't say what we did for various reasons. Not that we did anything bad or anything. Peaches are awesome. (hahahahahaha). At about 7:20, Mrs. Jayne came out and said that we needed to be in worship. oooohhh busted. haha. So we went inside for the rest of church.

When church was over, my family went to the Johnson's house. David went too...it was the first time I've seen him since Kaya was born. Star Wars 3 was on so me and Parker watched that for a little bit until we were done eating and decided we wanted to play Rock Band. Parker was unusually irritant. He kept blaming me for whenever we didn't get five stars on a song for something when in reality I totally beasted him. Haha, oh well.

So yeah, this weekend was really awesome.

Oh, and, my birthday is in ten days. :D

I can't help but walk beside insanity

One of the sweetest songs ever written.



I’ll dance with you when it’s raining
and I'll take your tears for my own
we’ll watch the sun every morning
and I’ll never leave you alone

you know I’ve only got best intensions
but I’ll more than likely break your heart
but I’ll glue it back again with a memory
I swear I’ll replace every part

‘Cause I’m just as messed up as the next guy
I cant help but walk beside insanity
but there’s something glowing brighter in the corner of your mind
and I cant help but hope that it’s me

we’ll laugh for hours at nothing
and you’ll hold my hand in a way
that lets me know we’re unstoppable
what ever comes our way

And I never want to fail you
but for now we live inside reality
I don’t want to catch you when you’re falling
I want the fall to happen just to me

‘Cause I’m just as messed up as the next guy
I cant help but walk beside insanity
but there’s something glowing brighter in the corner of your mind
and I cant help but hope that its me

‘Cause I’m just as messed up as the next guy
I cant help but walk beside insanity
but there’s something glowing brighter in the corner of your mind
and I cant help but hope that its me
no I cant help but hope that its me

"Yes, I ordered that chocolate milk"

Watch videos here:
http://youtube.com/user/smilelikeyoumeanit41
View pictures here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=1859&l=6674c&id=1110819575

So the Eleventyseven show last night was pretty much AWESOME! I'll start at the beginning of the day, which was very crappy, and then go on to the end of the day, which was awesome. :)
Well, originally I thought we would be going at around 3 o'clock or so...just because that would be awesome...but Cecelia called me and said that they wouldn't be going until around 4:30. I was okay with that...but waiting all day was hard. In case you don't know, I get very stressed out before concerts. It FINALLY was 4:20 and Cecelia called and said they had left so that means that I would leave in about 15 minutes in order to get to the church at the same time they did. Well, I got there and I didn't see the Alfonso's car so I figured they must not have been there yet. So me and my mom waited about 5 minutes and then I decided to call Cecelia but she didn't answer so I also called Celeste and she didn't answer. We waited a few more minutes and then Jonathan walked out the door and my mom said, "who is that and why does he have yellow and blue hair and a mohawk? Who has a mohawk?" Knowing that she didn't like it, I didn't tell her that I knew who he was so I just said "I don't know." Then a couple minutes later Amy, my 5-year-old little sister, said, "Christi I saw Jonathan come outside! Why does he have blue hair?" I thought to myself "oh crap." After Amy said that my mom said, "Who was that??" and I told her it was Jonathan and she said something like, "These people are weird and you guys are acting like a bunch of groupies." I could tell she was not happy. After a few more minutes of waiting my mom said she couldn't wait anymore and she had to go to the post office which is 7 minutes away from the church. I was really mad now..because I knew that it would take us so long to get there and chances are we'd get stopped at every single red light along the way, and as soon as we left the Alfonso's would probably get there. We left for the post office and, you guessed it, we got stopped at almost every single red light. We finally got back to the church at 5:30 (we got there at 5 originally.) I still didn't see the Alfonso's car so I called Cecelia to ask her where she was. She was already inside. Crap. I asked her to come outside, which she did, and I found out that they got to the church a few minutes before I did THE FIRST TIME and I didn't know they were there because I didn't see their car because I didn't know they were being dropped off and also I called them and they didn't answer. Since I already get stressed enough as it is before concerts, as you can imagine, I almost broke down and cried right there in the parking lot. I went back to the car and told my mom, almost in tears, "Mom! They've been here the whole time!" to which she replied, "I'm sorry. Don't have an attitude or you'll get right back in the car and go home. Do you want to do that?" I of course said no and then went inside.

When we went in there Matt was about to show Cecelia and Celeste everything about the merch and stuff so I listened while I was about to hyperventilate (sp?). When he was done I explained to Cecelia the whole situation and she gave me a big hug. I still wasn't feeling any better so she said, "You need a Caleb hug". She walked me over to the table where Caleb and Ryne were sitting. I'm sure I looked like I jerk when I saw Ryne the first time because I was definitely in no mood for socializing. Cecelia told Caleb that I needed a hug and after that followed the most awkward moment of the night. Who wants to be interrupted in the middle of the conversation only for some random girl to sit down and give you a hug...while sitting down. Sitting down hugs are weird. Especially when there's 2 people sitting on the other side of the table staring at you. After the awkward hug I still didn't feel any better because I'd never experienced the infamous "Caleb hug" and that one was just lame. After several minutes of just sitting there trying to calm myself down, Jonathan finally came in to tell me, Cecelia, and Celeste how to handle the money and all that jazz so we could work the merch table correctly. After that I finally started feeling better but by then it was 6 o'clock, the time the doors were supposed to open. So I basically got there and didn't get to talk to any of the guys except to listen to Matt explaining what shirt sizes were what, receive an awkward hug from Caleb, and listen to Jonathan talk about tallying and credit card machines and boring stuff like that.

Now that the doors were open, me, Celeste, and Cecelia could start doing our job at the merch table. I am so glad that the first person to use the credit card machine was Mrs. Costa because I screwed up haha. She was buying a shirt and a CD which is supposed to cost 20 dollars but I only counted for the shirt so I swiped her card and put in $8 and she had to sign that receipt and then she told me they also wanted the CD. I forgot that a shirt and a CD was 20 dollars and not 15 dollars so I only charged her card 7 dollars (8+7=15) and she had to sign another receipt. Then I finally realized my mistake so I had to charge her ANOTHER 5 dollars and make her sign yet another receipt. I felt really dumb after that. After several minutes a bunch of my friends from co-op started showing up so they'd come by to say hello and I'd practice my awesome salesperson skills on them. After doing merch for a little bit Caleb came over there and Cecelia said something to him and he looked over at me and said to come over there. I didn't know what was going on but then he gave me a big hug and said he loved me. YES! I finally got a Caleb hug!

It was finally 7 o'clock and time for the show to start. I was feeling a lot better now that I'd gotten over all the crap that happened earlier so I went to watch Days Off Screen. They were really awesome. It was my second time seeing them and I enjoyed them more than I did the first time. After them was The Switch. If I didn't know the lead singer wasn't a Christian, I'd bet a lot of money that he was gay. haha. They were okay I guess, but I liked Days Off Screen a lot better. After them it was finally time for Eleventyseven!! Their show was AMAZING, as always, and I definitely got several cramps in my side from jumping up and down so much because I don't exercise except for in the summer. I definitely burned a lot of calories. After a couple songs it was time for the hoe down. Caleb called me and Cecelia on stage to do the hoe down. I have a video :).


(You can't see us very well. We're to the left of the robot and that other girl. I'm wearing shorts and a blue save the unicorns shirt)

The rest of their show was amazing. Matt told a lovely story about his nose.

When life gives you cliff hangers, you say..."LOOK! A MUTANT FALCON!"
I'm sure Connor and Keone thought I was a freak because they've never seen me at an Eleventyseven concert. Haha, awesome. I loved watching Caleb and Celeste make jokes throughout the show. Their last song was Anti-Adieu. Matt picked Cecelia, Erica, and some other people to come on stage and dance, since it was their last song, and Caleb picked me and Celeste (I don't have a video of that). It was crazy fun. My side was hurting (cramps because I never exercise) but did that stop me? Heck no.


After that me and Cecelia rushed back to the merch table because we knew a lot of people would want to buy stuff after the show. I needed water really bad. Thankfully there were a few bottles under the table. Eleanor drew an amazing picture of a unicorn for me and I asked her to get it signed by the guys for me. She took it home to scan it but she's gonna give it back to me when I see her on Monday. Virgina and Eleanor also made the guys some really cool key chains and I helped them decide which one to give to which guy. After that, Caleb drew a very awesome picture on the back of the shirt that I made for the last Eleventy concert I went to. It said I heart ducks :D. While we were helping the guys load up all their stuff my mom called. She wanted to know what was going on so I told her that we would be leaving soon and we were going to go out to eat and I'd call her when we got there. The guys were packing up stuff and I noticed Caleb wasn't busy at the moment so I went over there and asked him if I could get a picture with him real fast since he wasn't doing anything right then. He said no and then walked off. Then he came back and gave me another big hug and went on to do something else. When everyone left I got pictures with the guys and got them to sign my poster. I definitely dropped my bag in front of Matt and a whole bunch of other people and a ton of stuff fell out of my bag. All I said was, "crap". This guy (don't know who he was) helped me pick up my stuff and Mr. Alfonso and Matt were joking about if I had done that at school while a bully was walking by. Mr. Alfonso said something else that was funny but I forgot what it was.

We helped the guys load up all their stuff into the van and then we decided to go to Denny's. Me, Celeste, and Cecelia rode in the van with Caleb. I decided that it would be best to call my mom back after I ordered so that she couldn't get mad and come get me right when we got there because we did get there a little later than I expected. Before we ordered, my dad called. I am SO glad that it was my dad who called and not my mom because he tends to be more gracious about things. I could tell he was a little upset that it was after 11 and we hadn't ordered yet, when Mom called around 10 and I told her we'd be leaving soon. He was nice though and told me to call him once our food got there so that he could pick me up later. Denny's was awesome. Me, most of the Alfonso's, Sara, and this other girl sat at a table with Jonathan and Caleb. Matt was in a booth with his girlfriend, Kyle (the robot), and some other person...(I think he was one of The Switch guys), and the rest of the Alfonso's were at a table with some other guys from The Switch. While we were waiting for our food we were talking about random stuff with Caleb and then he randomly looks at me and says, "You're a really fun person, man" (even though I'm not a man). I awkwardly replied, "Thanks...you're a really fun person too". I called my dad when our food finally got there and he'd said he would be over there soon and he also said not to rush because he'd give me enough time to eat. I love my daddy :). I noticed that Jon and Caleb still had their key chains that Virginia and Eleanor made. I'm sure they'd be happy of that. I told Jon that my friends made those and one of them drew a really awesome picture of a unicorn. He said something like, "Oh yeah. I remember signing that." Sitting across from Caleb was really awesome since I didn't get to hang out with any of the guys before the show. My dad got there, and I left.

Overall, the night was really fun. I didn't really talk to Matt at all except to make sure that he got the receipts that were on the floor by the cash box thing. He said that was really thoughtful of me to come over there and check haha. I talked to Jon a little bit at the show and at Denny's but I talked to Caleb the most. He's my favorite (don't tell the other guys).

Oh, Eleventygirls, here's your video from Matt :D

First one from Caleb:

Caleb take 2:

From Jon:

When I was leaving Denny's, I had to come back to the table because I forgot to leave a tip and Caleb was like, "miss me already?" I kinda shrugged my shoulders and said yeah then said bye again and Caleb laughed so then I left. Cecelia just told me that after that Caleb turned around and looked at Jonathan and said, "Dude man, you gotta hear that chick play the piano." Then Jonathan said, "Really?" Then Caleb said, "Yeah dude, it's amazing. She plays like these classical pieces, like, by memory. It's one of the most incredible things I've ever seen."
:D That makes me happy :D I find it funny that he's so amazed by that...
Haha, I ought to take him to the MTA recital that I play at sometimes. The people who play there are INSANE. That'd be a mind boggling experience for him.

Last night was awesome. Now I'm gonna go back to bed because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

*theend*

He's alive!

He's Alive by Don Francisco

The gates and doors were barred and all the windows fastened down.
I spent the night in sleeplessness and rose at every sound.
Half in hopeless sorrow and half in fear the day
Would find the soldiers breaking through to drag us all away.

And just before the sunrise I heard something at the wall.
The gate began to rattle and a voice began to call.
I hurried to the window and looked down into the street
Expecting swords and torches and the sound of soldiers feet.

There was no one there but Mary so I went down to let her in.
John stood there beside me as she told us where she'd been.
She said "They moved Him in the night and none of us knows where.
The stone's been rolled away and now His body isn't there."

We both ran toward the garden, then John ran on ahead.
We found the stone and the empty tomb just the way that Mary said.
But the winding sheet they wrapped Him in was just an empty shell.
And how or where they'd taken Him was more than I could tell.

Well, something strange had happened there, but, just what I didn't know.
John believed a miracle but I just turned to go.
Circumstance and speculation couldn't lift me very high,
Cause I'd seen them crucify Him, then I saw Him die.

Back inside the house again, the guilt and anguish came.
Everything I'd promised Him just added to my shame.
When, at last, it came to choices, I denied I knew His name.
And even if he was alive, it wouldn't be the same.

But suddenly the air was filled with strange and sweet perfume.
Light that came from everywhere drove shadows from the room.
Jesus stood before me with His arms held open wide
And I fell down on my knees and just clung to Him and cried.

He raised me to my feet and, as I looked into His eyes,
Love was shining out from Him, like sun light from the skies.
Guilt and my confusion disappeared in sweet release,
Every fear I'd ever had just melted into peace.

He's alive! He's alive!
He's alive and I'm forgiven, heaven's gates are open wide.
He's alive! He's alive!
He's alive and I'm forgiven, heaven's gates are open wide.
He's alive!
He's alive!
He's alive!